All-Purpose Jusenkyo Girl Nuku Nuku
by Corwin
Summary: The story of a boy and... his... cat? [revised and co-written with Ginrai]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer time:   
Rumiko Takahashi, Shogagukan, Kitty and Viz Communications own Ranma   
1/2. Yuzo Takada and A.D. Vision own All-Purpose Cultural Girl Nuku   
Nuku. This fic is based on Gregg Sharp's Nuku Nuku idea from chapter   
30 of 'A Reluctant Bet' (and is used here with his permission).  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
All-Purpose Jusenkyo Girl Nuku Nuku  
  
Chapter 1 - Jusenkyo, the Valley of the Really Cursed Springs.  
  
Ranma Saotome stroked the rather large cat standing next to him and  
looked around at the place his father had brought him to.  
  
"Aww, this doesn't look so bad."  
  
The pink-furred cat grimaced in a feline snarl, and hissed at the  
springs in the valley below warningly.  
  
"Come on, Ranma, follow me!" Genma yelled, leaping onto one of the  
poles.  
  
"Wait here, Nuku," Ranma said, gently patting the cat on her shoulder.  
"Hey, what's up? Why are you so upset?"  
  
The cat hissed and yowled, trying to communicate to Ranma exactly why  
this place set her hackles up.  
  
The Guide came out to see what was going on and noticed the cat Ranma  
was petting. "What kind of cat that? Pink fur and too big for housecat.  
Hmmm..." While thinking of that peculiarity, he turned and saw just  
where Genma was. "Oh what is Sir doing?!" the Guide screamed, hoping  
that someone would actually heed his warning.  
  
"Stop playing with the damn cat, Ranma! Are you not a man?" Genma  
taunted his son from one of the poles.  
  
"Something's scaring the heck outta her, Pop. I haven't seen her this  
agitated since we stayed outside that cave over in Okayama," Ranma  
exclaimed, frowning.  
  
"Ah, Sir, what you doing up there? This place very dangerous, nobody use  
any more!" the Guide yelled, flailing his arms frantically.  
  
"Ranma, are you chicken? Get up here and fight!" Genma shouted. Seeing  
that his son wasn't responding to his taunts, he paused, considering a  
new tactic. "What are you, a weak little girl?"  
  
"Oh shuddup." Ranma exclaimed, leaping to the top of a pole, if only to  
shut his father up. "What're the stakes this time?"  
  
"SIRS?!"  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Nuku Nuku howled as her master got close to those pools. This was why  
cats were clearly the superior species, stupid blind know-it-all humans!  
Couldn't they _feel_ the spirits of this place, hungering for further  
victims?!  
  
Leap, kick, sweeping attack. Block, sweep, countermove.  
  
Splash. Bubble. A panda attacking.  
  
Her human blinked, startled. A panda?  
  
Dropped guard. An attack that went through defenses. A throw.  
  
Nuku Nuku raced forward in an attempt to save her master. She weighed in  
excess of seventy pounds, maybe she could deflect him?  
  
Splash. Bubble. A scream of outrage.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"Oh, very sad, Sir... your cat fall in Spring of Insanely Super-Powered  
and Very Beautiful Drowned Girl. Terrible tragic story of..."  
  
The Jusenkyo Guide's telling of the tale was interrupted by an inhuman  
snarl. The pink-haired girl turned a look towards the panda that spoke  
of violence. Genma was momentarily unconcerned. After all, he was a  
trained martial artist and could easily defend himself against some  
teenage girl, couldn't he?  
  
This was dispelled by the sudden violence rained upon the panda by the  
transformed cat, who actually lifted Genma-panda up over her head and  
threw him. Then a dark-haired martial artist boy joined in.  
  
Ranma was quite aware that if he hadn't been knocked aside, _he_ would  
have landed in the pool that had turned his cat into a girl. He wasn't  
sure what would have happened, but this was what he considered Genma's  
latest and most stupid maneuver... in a long line of similar maneuvers.  
Right now he'd react, later he'd ponder it.  
  
Genma tried to flee but Ranma and Nuku Nuku had hunted together  
previously and were used to working as a team. Even with the  
transformation of Jusenkyo, the pair found their actions fitting like a  
well-oiled machine in operation.  
  
Sometime when the panda had been dunked in the Spring of Drowned Flying  
Pink Elephant Cub and beaten half to death, they hauled it back to the  
Guide's hut, and Ryoga fell off a cliff and hit a spring that had  
nothing to do with a Drowned Pig.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Nuku Nuku tugged uncomfortably at her clothing and glanced sideways at  
Ranma. "Rrrrroooww?"  
  
Ranma smiled back and said something in that human language they were  
always jabbering on in. Now that _she_ was human, she supposed she'd  
have to use it. How... inconvenient. Oh well, at least it was simple  
enough to understand. Still, it was much less easy for stupid older  
smells-greasy human to pull stupid stunts with _her_ human! Heh. And  
wouldn't it aggravate greasy-fat-man if she _could_ talk?  
  
Nuku Nuku decided to do it. She'd always been cleverer than smaller  
cats. She'd just never had the equipment or a good enough reason to  
learn speaking like a human, although she could always get the gist of  
what her human talked about. Now, however, she _was_ (shudder) at least  
a part time human. And all fat-greasy-needs-to-bathe human's fault. HER  
human had learned to pay attention.  
  
Not knowing what to make of this, the Jusenkyo Guide turned to Ranma.  
"Sir, what kind of cat? She not act like typical cat get transformed."  
  
"We're not sure. Nuku Nuku was one of a bunch of cats Pop rounded up to  
teach me some lame technique called the Neko-ken. Nuku adopted me when  
the training... drove me a little nuts. Having her around helped. Guy I  
knew said she was a variety of mountain cat native to China. She musta  
been just a kitten when we met."  
  
Nuku Nuku stared at Ranma's mouth. One puckered and moved the soft bits  
like so and moved the tongue around like that. It seemed extremely  
complicated. "Rrrruuuu?"  
  
"What is it, Nuku?"  
  
"Ruuaaa? Raaa. Raaaraaa..."  
  
Genma stood up, adjusting his backpack. "Whatever, Ranma. We must go. We  
have things to do and must go back to Japan."  
  
"Uh huh," Ranma said, not having paid the least bit of attention to his  
father. "Guide, you said that if _I_ had hit the pool, I'd be turned  
into a girl?"  
  
"Whenever struck with cold water, yes, Sir. But hot water turn you  
back."  
  
"Raaaraannnn." She'd been watching his mouth. "Nuuukyuuu?"  
  
Ranma blinked, realizing what was happening. Nothing like having the  
truth being used as a blunt instrument repeatedly against your head.  
"She's trying to talk? Nuku Nuku?"  
  
Genma blinked too. 'The boy is mistaken, right?'  
  
"Nuuukkuu." Nuku Nuku frowned. This was _so_ difficult and it had been a  
rough day. Maybe she should catch a nap before going further?  
"Nukkkuuu?"  
  
"Nuku Nuku." Ranma tapped the former full-time cat in the chest, then  
tapped himself in the chest. "Ranma."  
  
Nuku Nuku smiled, understanding the human gesture, even if it wasn't  
natural to her. "Rrrrannnmaaa."  
  
"Cat is very clever cat," said the Guide with wide eyes.  
  
"Good girl, Nuku Nuku."  
  
Nuku Nuku nodded. She knew it. Now her human understood...  
  
Nuku Nuku blinked. She _was_ human now, at least part time. Well, didn't  
_that_ confuse things all to hell. Hmmm. And Ranma smelled nice, even  
with a weak human nose...  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"Now, listen here, Guide," Ranma said, pulling the man with him out of  
the hut. "You said there're over a hundred springs here, right?"  
  
"Yes, Mr. Customer. Each with its own tragic..."  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure. So, what are they?"  
  
"Well, let's see. Spring of Drowned Annoying Super-Cute Magical Girl,  
Spring of Drowned Ugly Bikini-Wearing Alien Female Agent, Spring of  
Drowned Cute Girl Who Cooks Toxic Food, Dreaded Spring of Drowned FanFic  
Writer..."  
  
The Guide shuddered at that name, adding, "Last spring forbidden."  
  
"Aren't there any normal springs here?" Ranma asked, sighing.  
"Preferably, with shorter names."  
  
"Yes, Mr. Customer. We have Spring of Drowned Cabbit. Very tragic story  
of cabbit..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Look, I'm gonna need a sample or two from a few springs  
here."  
  
"Why you want do that? You look for curse too?"  
  
"Nah, I just figure that'd be a good way to get back at Pop. What do you  
think?"  
  
"I think Mr. Customer has very good idea. Jusenkyo curses not mix, if  
enough water used. Is even possibility for cure, when curse stabilize in  
one week."  
  
"But pop changed from a panda to... whatever the hell he is now," Ranma  
said, rubbing his forehead in confusion.  
  
The Guide shook his head to the negative. "Other Mr. Customer no get  
cured. Get another curse instead of panda curse. Cure is what must take  
time, not curse!"  
  
"I think I get it now," Ranma drawled out, tapping his chin in thought.  
Grinning evilly, Ranma said to the Guide, "Let's not tell Pop about  
this, ok?"  
  
"Ok," the Guide agreed, nodding.  
  
The pigtailed boy continued, "Now, how about we get those samples I  
wanted, and then you can tell me about all about the other products you  
probably have here..."  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"...and so here we come, Sirs, to rustic village of Nichieju."  
  
"What kinda food they got here?"  
  
"Rrrrooowww?" Nuku Nuku didn't like this, flat out _refused_ to carry a  
backpack, and was not thrilled with her Ranma following his father,  
however grudgingly. Besides, humans tended to stink after they  
exercised. More evidence, if any was needed, of the innate superiority  
of felines.  
  
"Oh, we is in luck, Sirs, is big fighting tournament." The Guide heard  
the noise and turned to see the three tourists tearing into the victory  
feast. "SIRS? What you do there?"  
  
The newly declared champion stalked forward and began berating the tall  
girl with the pink hair, but desisted when the girl _meowed_ at her.  
Shuddering, she turned her attention to the dark-haired boy in the hopes  
of at least some indication that the other understood he was being  
fussed at.  
  
Ranma, having stopped eating at the commotion, looked at the girl in  
front of him, perplexed at what she was saying. But she _looked_ angry.  
Turning to the Guide, he asked, pointing towards the girl, "What is she  
trying to say?"  
  
"Sir, she village champion. Is angry with Sirs for eating prize."  
  
Ranma blinked. "Oh... that is... not good. Ask if there's any way I can  
make up for it."  
  
Having asked the girl that, the Guide looked back at Ranma and  
responded, "Sir, she say you dishonor tradition. Champion challenge you  
to fight."  
  
This got Ranma to crack a smile. "So if I beat you there's no problem,  
right?" he asked the girl.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Shampoo was irate. That _boy_ was acting as if her challenge was  
nothing! Does he not know who she is? Well, he will soon, Shampoo  
thought as she looked up and scowled. It softened a bit. He did have a  
cute smile...  
  
Nuku Nuku watched the fight, stalking around to view from different  
angles as Shampoo attacked, Ranma counterattacked, then the defeated  
kissed the victor. Oh goody, they were friends now.  
  
If the crowd gasped in surprise as Shampoo gave the Kiss of Marriage to  
Ranma, they went into shock as Shampoo was stopped before she had even  
stepped back from Ranma. Stopped by the pink-haired girl grabbing  
Shampoo and giving the Kiss of Marriage!  
  
Shampoo considered fainting. This was not anywhere near the script she  
had intended. She rallied, however, deciding to get angry. Were these  
stupid outsiders mocking Amazon Tradition?  
  
Nuku Nuku wasn't ready for the attack and was stunned by a strong blow  
to the head. The not-friend turned an attack towards Ranma. Nuku Nuku  
understood this, sort of, in cat-terms. The new female was trying to  
prove her dominant status in the association. Well, Nuku Nuku had her  
own thoughts about that.  
  
Shampoo thought about it, and there was only one thing to do. "Wo ai  
ni!" She leapt forward again.  
  
A hand snaking out and grabbing the back of Shampoo's collar arrested  
her forward momentum. Shampoo turned to regard the pink-haired girl who  
was moving around as if sizing the Amazon up for an attack. Nuku Nuku  
revealed that that _was_ the game plan when she leapt at Shampoo with a  
howl. Shampoo lifted her bonbori from where they had fallen, and started  
forward herself.  
  
*WHISHHHHT! Clatter-clatter-clatter.*  
  
Shampoo's eyes bugged slightly, going from the neat little slices of  
bonbori mace to her opponent's bare hands.  
  
"/Careful Shampoo, the girl knows the dreaded Cat Fist!/"  
  
Shampoo stepped back and threw the useless handle to the side. "/Great  
Grandmother? What is this Cat Fist?/"  
  
"/A terrible technique. Mainly useless, though difficult to defeat  
without knowing about it beforehand. She has struck you twice now. Look  
at your dress./"  
  
Shampoo did, noticing two diagonal lines cut in the silk, which  
generously showed off her long, creamy legs. Her already short dress  
seemed more like a mini-skirt.  
  
"/WHAT?!/"  
  
Shampoo almost jumped from shock, but managed to stop herself at the  
last moment so that she won't flash her panties to the whole village.  
  
"/If she fought in earnest, your opponent would have drawn blood at  
least./" Cologne was intrigued as the girl showed all the signs of Cat  
Fist mastery. Which meant that Shampoo's opponent currently had the mind  
of a cat. "/If you use deadly force, she will likely respond that way./"  
  
"/I will not surrender,/" Shampoo growled, leaping forward.  
  
Nuku Nuku howled and struck. SHE was the head female here. She'd teach  
this upstart to get in line. The catgirl did avoid making it fatal  
though, this other girl had less than half her speed and strength, plus  
no claws to speak of. The battle quickly became a cat-fight instead of a  
martial arts duel. When the dust cleared, Shampoo was lying on the  
ground with Nuku Nuku crouched over her.  
  
Cologne sighed and stepped forward. It looked like _she_ would have to  
get involved. Though she noted that Shampoo had merely been embarrassed.  
Especially as her great granddaughter was woken up by the strange girl  
licking her face.  
  
"/Well, Shampoo, this outsider man _and_ this woman defeated you.  
Consider your options carefully./" Cologne turned to the three  
outsiders. "If you'll just wait a few moments, I'm sure my great  
granddaughter can sort out this mess. If you'd like a place to stay for  
the night we would be honored if you'd be our guests."  
  
Shampoo considered. An outsider girl defeating an Amazon meant the Kiss  
of Death, you had to pursue and kill. Though rarely used anymore, but  
Shampoo was Cologne's heir and therefore held to a higher standard. An  
outsider man defeating an Amazon meant the Kiss of Marriage, which she  
had just delivered to the man, so they were married. Then the outsider  
girl had given _her_ the Kiss of Marriage, which meant...  
  
Shampoo looked disgusted and mumbled, "Wo da airen. Wo ai ni," _very_  
unenthusiastically towards the pink-haired girl.  
  
Nuku Nuku watched the purple-haired girl lower her head as if staring at  
the ground. Licking off her right hand lazily, she nipped the neck of  
the fallen foe to drive the point home, meeting no resistance just as  
she expected.  
  
'Good, she knows her place now and is baring her neck. The pack grows  
and I can learn human behavior from a female of approximately my age.  
Now, I've got another pet human or at least a pack mate who smells  
better than greasy-fat-man. Hmmm. Her fur smells nice, actually. Have to  
see if Ranma can get his fur smelling that nicely...'  
  
Taking a look around her, Nuku Nuku noticed all the other people her own  
age. Using her keen sense, the catgirl noticed that most of them _also_  
smelled nice. A number of them, mostly the guys, seemed to be staring at  
her. Though one seemed to be angry and shouting something... before he  
got whacked on the head with a staff and fell down. The rest, almost all  
girls, were staring at Ranma.  
  
Nuku Nuku knew exactly what this meant. 'Oh, goody! More people for the  
pack!'  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Mousse was angry. Here he was, Shampoo's destined love, trapped in one  
of the houses and with no way out. His robe was taken away by the damn  
ghoul and so he was only clad in his pants. "/Of course I was trying to  
kill Saotome and Nuku Nuku! They're trying to force Shampoo into this!/"  
he remembered screaming in outrage at the dried up monkey Shampoo called  
'Great Grandmother' before she threw him in here. All the while his love  
was hanging around Saotome, no doubt being forced into doing it. Bastard  
probably used some sort of love potion. There was simply no other way  
his beloved would just magically forget about him and accept being  
married to the first guy that beat her!  
  
In the middle of his flashback, the myopic boy heard the sound of a  
fast, one-sided battle, followed by a cry of "Wo ai ni!" and a kiss by  
that girl of Saotome's. 'Damn the elder who told Nuku Nuku the laws  
concerning the Kiss of Marriage,' Mousse thought irately. This girl was  
making a _mockery_ of the system and no one was saying a thing!  
  
And the boys his age... Mousse began to growl at that thought.  
'Hypocrites. Each and every one of them! All of them lusting after all  
the girls, as if their 'beauty' can match Shampoo's. Only trying to beat  
Nuku Nuku because of all the girls they can get. Not caring about how  
the girls would feel. How Shampoo would feel! I can't believe the girls  
even like such guys.'  
  
Mousse shuddered, as his mind brought up an image of all those boys  
trying to force themselves on his beloved Shampoo after beating the  
tricely-accursed Saotome. 'At least Shampoo is strong... I know she  
won't let anyone treat her like that.' He smiled at the last thought.  
Shampoo, at least, had good taste in guys. And he knew that soon she  
would announce her love for him. The master of hidden weapons chuckled  
at the look the old bag of bones would give when his Shampoo said that.  
  
Retracting his thoughts on the boys, Mousse realized that he shouldn't  
be surprised about one of the boys. The one who would sleep with  
_anyone_, even his own sister, or _anything_ that could walk and  
breathe. The one with the blow-up mouse, or whatever it was, doll. Who  
could appear anywhere at the surprise of others. And, Mousse shuddered  
at this, the one who gave him a certain look from time to time.  
  
"/The greatest pervert in this village,/" the blind Amazon mumbled in  
disgust as he stared through one of the barred windows. He stopped  
staring when he felt a hand on his chest. Turning, Mousse saw...  
  
"/You called?/" the other boy asked in a sultry tone, tracing a finger  
over Mousse's bare chest.  
  
Shrieking like a little girl, Mousse ran through one of the walls. He  
didn't care that he just got out, or how the other boy got in. He just  
wanted to get far away from _that boy_.  
  
The boy stared at the hole Mousse made with a look of true  
disappointment. "/One of these days, my love,/" he said forlornly.  
Smoothing out his hair, he added, "/But, for now, there are others that  
haven't felt the power of my loving. They, too, deserve it just as much  
as my sister, my mother, my father, my pet, the girl in the house next  
to mine and her wolf, that elder whose name I forgot.../"  
  
An hour later, after having finished thinking of all the people he gave  
his loving to, the long-haired handsome boy left to continue his endless  
mission of spreading his love to others.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile, outside of the formerly barricaded house, Nuku Nuku turned  
away from the newest pack mate that she finished playing with to see  
where the noise was coming from. Seeing that it was the strange boy with  
glasses that always shouted at her and Ranma, the catgirl shrugged and  
turned back to the latest girl she kissed. The other girl was already  
staring at Ranma, who looked a little uncomfortable, eyes wide in  
adoration.  
  
While she didn't mind it that much, the pink-haired girl found it  
strange that she could only play with and kiss the other girls in the  
village. The monkey lady said that for the boys to be in the pack, they  
had to _beat_ her or Ranma. And though it was fun playing with some of  
the boys, glass boy always used something sharp or tried to hurt Ranma.  
That _wasn't_ fun.  
  
"Nuku Nuku!" Ranma called out to his friend, interrupting her thoughts,  
"Ya know... you _don't_ have to fight and kiss _every_ girl you meet to  
be friends with them." He found it rather uncomfortable saying such,  
probably because of the two girls, one latched onto each of his arms,  
both glaring at the other in distrust.  
  
Nuku Nuku understood immediately. "So Ranma want to play with boys and  
kiss them?"  
  
"No! NO!!!" Ranma screamed, waving his arms and in doing so,  
accidentally knocking down the two girls. He right away turned to both  
and apologized. Not minding, they latched back onto his arms. Giving a  
sigh, he said, "I'll explain later. Just... don't fight and kiss any  
girl here."  
  
"Okay, Ranma," Nuku Nuku replied cheerfully before running off.  
  
Ranma sighed in relief and slumped to the ground. He jumped back up a  
second later when he saw what was happening in the distance. "No, I  
meant 'here' as in the village!"  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
That night, Ranma slept peacefully, trying to remain oblivious during  
the night at what was going on in the day. Nuku Nuku slept with happy  
thoughts of all the friends she made here. And Genma-elephant slept,  
having had his fill of peanuts earlier on.  
  
Creeping slowly into the house where they slept, a figure made its way  
towards the trio. Seeing that they were sound asleep, it started  
undressing. Not being able to stand it any longer, it knew that today  
was the day to make a reality of all those lustful thoughts.  
  
Genma-elephant stirred awake, his eyes too unfocused to be able to see  
the scene in front of him...  
  
A few minutes later, the sound of three figures being knocked out could  
be faintly heard throughout the village. Genma-elephant flew off into  
the night, an unconscious Ranma and Nuku Nuku being held by his trunk,  
flapping his ears frantically.  
  
'Must concentrate on flying. Must concentrate on flying. Must  
concentrate on flying...'  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
A week later, bystanders on a street in Nerima were treated to an  
unusual sight. A pink elephant was fighting with a cute pink-haired girl  
and a pigtailed boy around her age, both teenagers wearing identical  
Chinese outfits. And the strangest thing of all was the boy yelling to  
the elephant about an arranged marriage. Eventually, the elephant  
distracted the two, and swatted the boy aside, only to strike the  
unsuspecting girl with a street sign. After five hits, she was out, and  
the elephant used its trunk to pick her up and flew away, flapping its  
ears.  
  
"Damn you, Pop!" Ranma shouted, taking to the rooftops in hot pursuit.  
  
"That was stranger than the time that Kuno boy walked around naked and  
was shouting about his 'grand samurai clothing'," one of the bystanders  
noted, others nodding in agreement.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Hearing a knock on the door, Kasumi excused herself and went to open it.  
It was only proper, as a hostess, and besides, she could make her  
judgment on the boy her father engaged to one of them before her other  
sisters. Opening the door and looking outside, Kasumi did the only thing  
she could in a situation like that - she shrieked.  
  
The rest of her family followed to the front door immediately, filing  
into the yard, as they gaped at the beauty and the beast, not missing  
the pink motif.  
  
Soun, missing the girl's quite prominent feminine features, and pretty  
much ignoring the surrounding weirdness, jumped to the only possible  
conclusion.  
  
"Ranma! My boy!"  
  
As the strange human latched onto her like there was no tomorrow, Nuku  
Nuku frowned. After the disaster in the Amazon village, Ranma had taken  
time to share his vast social skills and knowledge on proper behavior  
with her. And from what he'd told her, the man was trying to feel her  
up!  
  
One moment later, Soun was in la-la land, lying on the grass. Akane,  
enraged that someone - a _boy_, no less! - would attack their father,  
and, similar to him in ignoring insignificant, little details such as  
this new stranger taking out a Master of Anything Goes with just one  
blow, leapt at Nuku Nuku.  
  
The catgirl was about to slash at the new attacker, when someone  
intercepted Akane's hand, shouting, "Leave her alone!"  
  
Turning towards Nuku Nuku, Ranma gave her a smile, and said, "Sorry it  
took me so long to get here."  
  
"No problem, Ranma!" the pink-haired girl replied, matching his grin.  
"Nuku Nuku just made new friends, and without kissing them!"  
  
"Excuse me," Nabiki interrupted at that point, "but would you happen to  
be Ranma Saotome?"  
  
Ranma released Akane's hand from his and scratched the back of his head,  
laughing nervously.  
  
Akane was still deep in shock over the fact that a mere boy intercepted  
her strongest punch with such ease, not to mention that a _boy_ even  
_dared_ do something like that.  
  
"Err, that is, yeah, I'm Ranma. Look, I'm sorry about this, so we'll  
just be leaving, ok?"  
  
At that point, the elephant whipped a sign out of thin air and presented  
it for everyone to read.  
  
[Don't be rude, Boy! We'll stay with your fiancee!]  
  
"Fiancee?!" Ranma shouted, panicked. "N-Neither of y-you can be my  
fiancee!"  
  
"Why not?" Nabiki asked, since Akane and Kasumi were still in shock.  
  
"Because... because... because I already got a fiancee! Yeah, that's  
right!"  
  
Nobody noticed the elephant become extremely nervous at that point.  
  
"And who is this... 'mysterious fiancee'?" Nabiki wondered out loud.  
Since the rest of her family was still in various degrees of shock,  
nobody could take use of the conversation to trap her into marrying this  
Ranma character, so she could play with him a little and watch him  
sweat.  
  
"Umm, my fiancee?" Ranma asked, glancing to his sides frantically.  
  
'Shampoo? She ain't here! And... and that Amazon male...' Ranma shivered  
involuntarily, feeling very unclean. 'There's no way I'll look Shampoo  
up if _he_ is part of the package!'  
  
"It's... it's Nuku! Yeah, me an' her are fiancees, definitely!"  
  
'We are?' Nuku Nuku thought, mirroring Nabiki's thoughts at the moment.  
  
Thinking it over for a moment, Nuku Nuku latched onto Ranma's arm and  
cried out cheerfully, "Nuku Nuku not mind!" silently adding to herself  
that maybe they could sell the elephant to a zoo.  
  
Nabiki considered joining her father in a dead faint, but decided  
against it. Carefully weighing her options, she came to the conclusion  
that while Ranma wasn't rich, he was handsome and quite strong, if that  
little display with Akane earlier on was any indication. The recent bit  
about this pink-haired girl being his fiancee was a clear lie, but at  
least the girl wasn't opposed to the idea.  
  
'Hmm, if I play my cards right, I could use it to keep daddy at bay,  
while having the time to decide whether I want to be engaged to Ranma in  
the first place.'  
  
Nabiki smiled, not unlike a shark spotting fresh blood.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
End of Chapter 1.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Corwin (ely7@inter.net.il or corwin@virtuallyjeannie.com)  
http://www.virtuallyjeannie.com/ranma.html  
  
Co-written with Ginrai (ranmafics@hotmail.com)  
http://members.tripod.com/lwf58/fan_fiction/ginrai/index.html  
  
* Previous chapters can also be found at:  
http://members.xoom.com/phu_lam/index.htm  
  
Thanks to Brian Randall for pre-reading this. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer time: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogagukan, Kitty and Viz  
Communications own Ranma 1/2. Yuzo Takada and A.D. Vision own All-  
Purpose Cultural Girl Nuku-Nuku. This fic is based on Gregg Sharp's  
Nuku Nuku idea from chapter 30 of 'A Reluctant Bet' (and is used here  
with his permission).  
  
C&C appreciated:  
  
Corwin (ely7@inter.net.il or corwin@virtuallyjeannie.com)  
http://www.virtuallyjeannie.com/corwin.html  
  
Ginrai (ranmafics@hotmail.com)  
http://members.tripod.com/lwf58/fan_fiction/ginrai/index.html  
  
* Previous chapters can also be found at:  
http://phu.anifics.com/  
  
Thanks to Brian Randall for pre-reading this.  
  
All-Purpose Jusenkyo Girl Nuku-Nuku  
  
Chapter 2 - Just Two Normal Days in Nerima.  
  
Akane soaked herself in the cold water, letting it numb her senses and  
send her into a state of deep relaxation. After all the talks about  
fiancees, curses and pink elephants, she decided on doing something to  
keep away from all the craziness. Even the fact that the furo only  
contained cold water couldn't force her away. "No Ranma. No Nuku Nuku.  
Just peace and quiet," Akane sighed dreamily.  
  
That train of thought was dashed into a million pieces when a seventy-  
pound cat barged in and jumped into the furo, giving her no time to  
react.  
  
When the water receded, Akane opened her eyes and saw a mass of pink  
hair covering her vision. 'How?' she thought faintly, remembering the  
discussion about Jusenkyo curses. 'So Nuku Nuku is also cursed?'  
  
"Nuku Nuku beginning to like this form. Hi, Akane! You want to take a  
bath with Nuku Nuku?" Hearing the other girl's voice answered her  
question.  
  
Still, wanting to make sure, Akane sifted through the hair. At the  
other end of the tangle, she saw Nuku Nuku's eyes peering down on her.  
The energetic girl was also naked as Akane could feel the smoothness of  
her skin. Trying to calm herself by saying that girls couldn't possibly  
be perverts, she took notice of the catgirl's eyes and the amount of  
sheer hunger in them. This along with the ecstatic smile Nuku Nuku gave  
made it all the more terrifying for her.  
  
Instincts taking over, she tried to push Nuku Nuku off her and leap out  
of the furo to get away from the other girl. Instead, her leg caught  
with that of the catgirl's, causing her to fall on top of Akane.  
  
Opening her mouth to scream, her lips instead met with Nuku Nuku's.  
Akane was frozen, unable to move in the slightest, a tingling sensation  
spreading across her body. The tension was somewhat relieved when the  
other girl pulled herself away and shouted enthusiastically, "Wo ai  
ni!"  
  
Akane had no idea what it meant. But from the sound of it, she knew it  
wasn't any good. Upon hearing a knock on the door, Akane quivered, her  
body slowly beginning to unfreeze itself.  
  
"Nuku Nuku?"  
  
"Yes, Ranma?" the catgirl asked in her bubbly voice, getting off Akane  
while doing so.  
  
This gave Akane more breathing room, though she stopped upon noticing  
the water glistening on Nuku Nuku's athletic body.  
  
"Remember, err... when I told you about girls and about kissing and  
playing with them?"  
  
"Nuku Nuku knows!" she responded cheerfully, "But Akane just like Nuku  
Nuku! Just as much fun as with Amazon girls!" Due to her exuberance,  
she paid no heed to the sickly green shade Akane's skin was turning.  
  
There was silence on the other side of the door before Ranma responded.  
"Even if Akane is the same..." He coughed a few times. "You shouldn't  
act so fast. Maybe it would be better if you wait until Akane's  
finished."  
  
"Okay!" She leapt out of the furo and turned around to wave goodbye to  
Akane, who had her eyes closed and was blushing crimson, before running  
out.  
  
"And what did I tell you about wearing clothes?!" Akane could hear  
Ranma exclaim in a disapproving tone of voice. "Just look what you did  
to that poor man that lets us stay here!"  
  
"But Nuku Nuku's outfit got ruined when Nuku Nuku chased a big mouse!"  
  
Akane could feel the pout on the other girl's face despite the closed  
door separating them.  
  
"Umm..." There was a pause for a few long moments, before Ranma added  
hesitantly, "How about you wear one of the Chinese dresses you got from  
Shampoo?"  
  
Nuku Nuku's squeal of delight finally managed to shake Akane out of her  
stupor, and she stopped twitching, retaining enough coherence to  
continue her bath.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"A free word of advice, Ranma," Nabiki said to the pigtailed boy before  
going to school. "When you get to the school's gates, stay away from  
Akane's fan club."  
  
"Fan club?" Ranma asked, blinking a few times. "Akane has a fan club?"  
He side-stepped a moment later, a barbell flying through the area his  
head used to occupy. "Weird."  
  
"You'll see," Nabiki said mysteriously, before grabbing her lunch and  
going out. "Later!"  
  
"Why can't ya tell me more?" Ranma insisted, grabbing her elbow  
lightly.  
  
"It'll cost you," came the prompt reply.  
  
Ranma blinked. "Is that what ya say for every question?"  
  
"It'll cost you." Nabiki smiled, baring her teeth slightly. Seeing that  
the pigtailed boy wasn't trying to ask her any more questions, she  
shrugged slightly and walked out of the front door.  
  
"O-kay." Ranma shook his head to clear it. "Nuku, let's go, too," he  
offered, getting up and taking his backpack. He readily agreed with his  
father in going to school. If nothing else, time away from his Pops  
each day was enough of a reason to go.  
  
"Okay, Ranma!" Nuku Nuku replied, bouncing happily in her low-cut  
Chinese dress - which bordered on indecency - ready to make new  
friends. Though fat elephant-man tried to say that pets weren't allowed  
at school, Ranma found a way to convince him. The catgirl wondered what  
that was, and why Ranma agreed not to mention 'Mishima' to anyone and  
asked her to do the same.  
  
"Oh, my! Ranma, what if Nuku Nuku changes during the day?" Kasumi  
exclaimed.  
  
"Man, I haven't thought of that," Ranma replied dejectedly. He  
scrunched his forehead as a look of intense concentration settled upon  
his face. A few moments later the pigtailed boy closed his eyes, and  
began to emit a strange noise as he struggled with the problem  
presented before him. A full minute later, he opened his eyes and  
glanced at the eldest Tendo daughter curiously. "Say, Kasumi, do you  
have a thermos or something?"  
  
"Certainly, Ranma. I think I have a spare stored away somewhere."  
  
"Can you fill it with cold water and loan it to me? All I have to do is  
keep it close to me!" Ranma exclaimed happily, rubbing his hands  
together.  
  
"But what if Nuku Nuku is splashed with hot water while she's on her  
own?" Kasumi asked over her shoulder, while walking into the kitchen to  
retrieve the thermos Ranma had asked for.  
  
"Umm... I'll have to keep Nuku around me all the time too, then!" Ranma  
replied, putting a hand on the catgirl's shoulder.  
  
"Hmph, pervert," Akane mumbled before saying goodbye to Kasumi and  
running outside.  
  
"Hey, wait up!" Ranma exclaimed, grabbing the offered thermos and Nuku  
Nuku's hand. Saying his thanks to Kasumi on the way out, he sped off  
along with the catgirl after Akane's receding figure.  
  
Left alone, Kasumi put a hand to her cheek and thought, 'My, he's so  
energetic and young... well, not too young... and he's got a cute  
butt...'  
  
Hearing a dull thud from behind her, Kasumi turned around to see her  
father sprawled out on the floor in a dead faint. "Oh, my!" the eldest  
Tendo daughter exclaimed, holding her hand to her face as her cheeks  
burned crimson. "Did I say that out loud?"  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"Ranma, what are those boys doing?" Nuku Nuku asked, looking at the  
crowd assembled at the school's gates.  
  
"I dunno, maybe they're that fan club Nabiki was talking about. Anyway,  
it's not our business, so let's go inside."  
  
With that, Ranma sped off to the building, wanting to enroll as fast as  
possible. Nuku Nuku shrugged, and ran after him, intent on making new  
friends later on.  
  
The sight of the catgirl running towards school, her long, pink hair  
flowing freely as she ran, the daring Chinese dress hugging her  
features, showing a lot of leg and her ample chest bouncing in a very  
positive manner, caused most of the boys to go into sensory overload.  
This distraction was at the very moment Akane came through the gates.  
With a determination not seen before, she plowed through them with the  
greatest of ease.  
  
Kuno, who like most of the others had not taken notice of Akane  
arriving, had his attention solely on the door leading into Furinkan.  
The image of Nuku Nuku was burned into a special part of his mind,  
right next to that of Akane's, where they would be cherished together  
forever. "Such beauty..." he mouthed out before getting punched in the  
face by the fist of the other girl etched in his mind.  
  
Looking at the unconscious body of the kendoist in wonder, Akane turned  
back towards the gates to see the results of the morning attack. "Wow,  
a new record! I must be getting better!" she giddily said, walking  
inside the school building with a wide smile on her face.  
  
Nabiki, who saw all of the morning's events transpire, had already  
started making plans to exploit the situation.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Still content from earlier, Akane felt on top of the world. 'Better  
yet,' she thought, 'I won't have to see either Ranma or Nuku Nuku for  
the whole day!' Thinking of Ranma's 'fiancee' - not that she minded him  
being engaged to a cat in the least - Akane closed her eyes and took a  
few deep breaths. The events of the previous night were something that  
she had every intent of forgetting. It was not like she wanted to think  
of girls that way...  
  
Her meditation was interrupted by the homeroom teacher, Professor  
Yamagata, walking in and greeting the class.  
  
Opening her eyes in preparation for the school day, Akane right away  
caught sight of two people following the teacher; her two house guests,  
to be precise, one of whom was waving at her that very moment. She  
placed her hands on her forehead and started to massage her temples.  
Akane just _knew_ that the weirdness level would increase with them two  
here.  
  
"Class, we have two new students today," the teacher announced as Ranma  
and Nuku Nuku stood in front of the whole class. "Why don't you  
introduce yourselves?"  
  
"Well, I'm Saotome Ranma," the pigtailed boy said, before posing  
dramatically, "and I'm the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes  
Martial Arts!"  
  
"And my name is Nuku Nuku!" the pink-haired girl exclaimed happily.  
"I'm Ranma's fiancee! We're staying with Baka-san at Akane's house!"  
she loudly proclaimed, causing some of the students to look back at the  
Tendo sibling.  
  
Akane tried to hide herself behind her desk. It had already begun...  
  
"Baka-san?" Professor Yamagata asked.  
  
"Ah, she means my pop. He's a real idiot," Ranma replied casually.  
  
"Oh." The teacher blinked for a few seconds, before regaining his  
senses. "Ranma, why don't you take the seat next to the window. Nuku  
Nuku, you may take the one behind him."  
  
"Sure, Teach. No prob," Ranma said, shrugging.  
  
Professor Yamagata nodded to himself and tried to sit behind his desk,  
accidentally knocking his chair away and falling onto the floor with a  
groan.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
During lunch, Professor Yamagata noted that while the other students  
were in groups, his two new students were only talking with each other.  
'As their teacher, it's my duty to see that they don't end up feeling  
alienated from the other students,' he thought, walking up to them.  
  
"Excuse me, Saotome-san, Nuku Nuku-san."  
  
"Yes?" Ranma asked, turning towards the teacher along with Nuku Nuku.  
  
"Neither of you have talked much with the other students, have you?" he  
asked in a firm tone that had a sense of seriousness underneath it.  
  
"No," Nuku Nuku responded, shaking her head.  
  
"That's not good," Professor Yamagata said gravely. "You both are young  
and need to enjoy your youth while it lasts! I'm sure that there are  
many people here who want to be your friend." The last statement was  
said with him gesturing his hand towards the rest of the class. He  
didn't take grasp of the fact that the students around them were  
running away from the area, or the dull noise that was progressively  
increasing in intensity. "So, it would be a good idea to get  
acquainted--"  
  
The onslaught of a mob of students running towards them reached  
Professor Yamagata at that moment, knocking him through the window.  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" he screamed, attempting to grab hold of something  
as he fell.  
  
Some of the more concerned students looked out to check on their  
accident-prone teacher.  
  
"It's okay," Sayuri shouted out. "He fell into the pool." With that she  
went to the group surrounding Ranma and Nuku Nuku.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Akane didn't mind the commotion in the classroom much, since she had  
been left alone to have her lunch in peace. Ranma and Nuku Nuku were  
surrounded by various students, asking the pair questions on what  
they've done during the ten years of training. 'Some time alone.  
Nothing to worry about. Though I'm surprised that Yuka and Sayuri would  
even talk with Ranma...' She blinked at the last thought. 'Then  
again...'  
  
Akane rapidly became distracted by what Nuku Nuku was saying, losing  
her train of thought.  
  
"Nuku Nuku at Akane's house because Tendo girls want Ranma. Just like  
other friends!" the pink-haired girl told the boys. She knew that had  
to be the only reason they were there, especially since there weren't  
any challenges as of yet.  
  
As one, the boys she were talking with blinked, silently envying the  
position Saotome was in.  
  
"But aren't you Ranma's fiancee? You're not mad at this?" Hiroshi  
asked, surprised at the lack of jealousy from Nuku Nuku.  
  
She pondered this for a moment before answering. "You mean if Nuku Nuku  
is friends with them?" Seeing their nods, she smiled and said, "Yes,  
Nuku Nuku good friends with Tendo girls! _Especially_ Akane!"  
  
Hearing Nuku Nuku speak so ardently about her, even though they really  
didn't talk much - other than that unfortunate bathroom incident - made  
Akane feel ashamed on having thought so unfavorably of her guest. Maybe  
they could be really good friends.  
  
"What did you mean by '_Especially_ Akane'?" Daisuke asked, a large  
part of him wanting it to be something more than friendship.  
  
"Nuku Nuku and Akane real good friends! Akane even take bath with Nuku  
Nuku!"  
  
Akane stopped eating instantly upon hearing that and promptly grabbed  
onto the sides of her desk, preventing herself from falling face-first  
onto the table. _This_ was not good. Opening one eye towards the group  
of boys, she saw that it already had an effect on them. They had a  
certain look on their faces. A look that would cause any right-minded  
girl to slap them until their cheeks were red. 'What if Nuku Nuku tells  
them about that kiss?' she thought in horror, mentally reminding  
herself that the kiss she gave was by accident. Evasive action had to  
be taken and so she grabbed her thermos containing hot coffee.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
While most of his students were conversing with the newcomers,  
Professor Yamagata was drying himself after climbing out of the pool.  
Walking back to the classroom, he wondered silently, 'Why do I always  
get hurt?' in confusion, idly wringing out the water from his tie as he  
did so.  
  
His thoughts were on hold when he noticed a tiny crack on the outer  
wall. It was getting larger by the second. "Strange," he whispered,  
closing in on the rift.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Before Akane could splash Nuku Nuku with the coffee, she watched in  
amazement as the outer wall to the classroom exploded. The explosion,  
followed closely by Professor Yamagata's shrill cry of "What's  
this?!!!" - just as the rubble fell on top of him - caused her to spill  
the contents of her thermos all over herself in surprise. Wiping off  
the hot, sticky substance from her eyes, she stared towards the area of  
destruction. 'At least Nuku Nuku is also distracted.'  
  
The rest of the students turned towards the hole, which was two meters  
in diameter. What was more intriguing to them, however, was that it had  
been made in the _outer_ wall. Their class was on the third floor.  
  
As the dust slowly cleared, they were able to see a figure holding a  
mace in each hand entering the classroom through the hole. The scene  
becoming less hazy, with light falling on the silhouette, everyone saw  
that the figure was a girl. A girl with luscious purple hair.  
  
Ranma shrieked in terror and grabbed Nuku Nuku. Pushing startled  
students out of the way, Ranma dragged the catgirl along towards the  
exit. They almost made it out of the door, when several girls in form-  
fitting Chinese dresses filling into the classroom from that direction  
halted their presence.  
  
"Hello, Son-in-law, Daughter-in-law," a diminutive woman perched atop a  
staff called out, as she easily jumped above the teenage girls blocking  
the doorway.  
  
"W-Why, Cologne," Ranma stammered out, sweating profusely. "F-Fancy m-  
meeting you h-here."  
  
"It's... it's a mummy!" Daisuke exclaimed, the first student to see the  
newest arrival clearly.  
  
The purple-haired girl who had made the hole in the outer wall bonked  
the boy on the head with one of her bonbori. "It no Great-Grandmother's  
fault she fall in Spring of Ghoulish Talking Dried-Up Old Monkey!"  
  
Ranma took the half-full thermos of hot coffee from Akane's numb  
fingers, and poured it over Cologne's head, staggering immediately as a  
staff impacted upon his head.  
  
"What did you do that for, Son-in-law?" the ancient Amazon asked him,  
hot coffee dripping down her face.  
  
"Ack! She's still a dried up old mummy!" Ranma cried out, earning a  
second blow to the head for that remark.  
  
"That was 'monkey', Son-in-law, and I cannot change back."  
  
"Why? You've found being a monkey to be more enjoyable?" This comment  
earned Ranma another whack on the head with the gnarled staff.  
  
"No. A while back, after having beaten him in a duel, a prince from the  
Musk Dynasty felt rather sore, saying that I didn't win through fair  
means. So he dumped the cursed water on me and then used the  
Chiisuiton."  
  
"The what?"  
  
"A magical device which locked me in my cursed form. Arrogant little  
twit..." The light around Cologne seemed to grow dimmer when she added  
with an evil chuckle, "Oh, but I got even. Showed them all what'll  
happen when messing with me." The light and mood around her slowly  
shifting back to being more cheerful, she ended it with, "And that's  
how I turned into a dried up monkey."  
  
"That's... sad," Ranma said sympathetically, albeit having to wipe a  
few sweat drops away.  
  
"Not really. There is still hope. Another device by the name of  
Kaisuifu can counter the curse, and it's located somewhere in this  
country."  
  
"Ah, so that's why you came here," Ranma said, sighing in relief.  
  
Cologne smiled, managing to strike terror in the hearts of people  
watching her.  
  
"Not exactly, Son-in-law. You left in such a hurry, that you must've  
forgotten to take your wives with you."  
  
"Wives?!" the whole class screamed in surprise, as Ranma began to sweat  
worriedly once again, shifting from one foot to another nervously.  
  
"Umm... only the girls are here, right?" Ranma asked, not wanting the  
situation to be worse than it already was.  
  
"Of course," Cologne answered with the same smile as before, eliciting  
a small sigh of relief from Ranma.  
  
"And what about... him?"  
  
Cologne sighed, her shoulders sagging. "I wish I could say that...  
he... stayed behind, Son-in-Law."  
  
All signs of relief left Ranma's face, as the pigtailed boy paled  
considerably, looking around cautiously.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Nuku Nuku wondered what she should do. All of her friends from the  
Amazon village showed up. She wanted to ask them to play with her, but  
one of the first things Ranma told her when they left the Amazons  
behind was _never_ to do that again.  
  
No matter how much she thought about it, Nuku Nuku couldn't understand  
why it was wrong for her to play with all those females and then kiss  
them. Even Akane, who wasn't an Amazon, liked to do that. If it was  
okay in Nerima, what was so bad about it? But Ranma spent more time as  
a human, and should know better. Well, better than fat-old-man.  
  
Looking at Ranma, Nuku Nuku noticed that he was very nervous. Maybe he  
was sick? If that were the case, she had to get him to a doctor!  
  
Shouting, "Don't worry, Ranma, Nuku Nuku will help you!" she slung him  
over her shoulder, and quickly jumped outside of the classroom through  
the hole Shampoo made, gaining speed as the ground approached to meet  
them at an incredible pace.  
  
Flipping agilely, Nuku Nuku landed on her feet, as befit a true cat,  
and waved at the Amazons looking at her from the third floor. Maybe  
they would like to play tag with her, while she was getting Ranma home?  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Gulping down the contents in his mug, Genma couldn't help but notice  
his son being carried off by a speeding Nuku Nuku. He shrugged and  
drank some more beer.  
  
"Saotome, isn't that your son with his... fiancee?" Soun, asked his  
best friend, taking a swig from his own beer mug.  
  
"Mmm-hmm," Genma said, nodding solemnly.  
  
The pair heard a low rumble approaching them, occasional proclamations  
of love in pidgin Japanese and panicked screams seeping in through the  
background noise occasionally. Soon afterwards, they saw a huge dust  
cloud shoot by, containing what seemed to be many girls holding  
weapons, pedestrians scrambling out of their way.  
  
"And... who are they, Saotome?"  
  
"Oh, just some Amazon wives Ranma and Nuku Nuku picked up along the  
way. Nothing serious."  
  
"So you say." Soun nodded sagely. "You know, Saotome, there _is_ the  
Tendo-Saotome agreement to unite the schools. Maybe we should go and  
help your son and... that girl?"  
  
"And leave this fine establishment that brings us nothing but joy?"  
Genma asked, gesturing towards his fellow drunks. "Liquid joy, at  
that!" The portly man chuckled, his hand making a sweeping motion  
towards the assortment of beer. "Tendo, you worry too much. Of course I  
still remember the agreement. I have a foolproof plan here that should  
get us what we want!" He emphasized this by tapping his forehead. "And  
besides, I've taught the boy much. He'll find a way to get out of  
this."  
  
"You're right, Saotome." Soun sighed in relief.  
  
Genma heartily patted his friend on the back. "Why ruin a perfectly  
good day worryi--"  
  
A splash of cold beer caused whatever words of wisdom Genma was about  
to say to turn into incomprehensible sounds.  
  
Sucking himself dry of the beer that drenched him, the pink elephant  
cub then turned around to see who had spilt the drink.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
The sound of what was most likely an elephant shrieking in terror  
reached ears of the others in the bar. Turning towards the source of  
the noise, they saw a pink elephant cub grab hold of the surprised man  
sitting next to it, mug still in hand, before the animal and its  
unwitting hostage flew straight through the nearby wall.  
  
"Hey," one of the many drunk members of the bar slurred out. "Why'd  
Stampy run away? Isn't he supposed to stay?"  
  
Contemplating on this serious issue, another shouted out, "Oh, dear  
God! This beer is nonalcoholic!" Pointing towards the bartender, he  
shouted, "Get him!"  
  
The unfortunate bartender, whose brain had shut down after having seen  
one his customers turn into an elephant, pink at that, was too slow in  
reacting to the attack as a barroom brawl began.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Genma-elephant, with Soun sitting on top of him, flew in the direction  
where he last saw his son heading. After all, it was every father's  
duty to help out their sons when they were in trouble. And he was about  
to show just how dutiful of a father he was to Ranma.  
  
It had absolutely nothing to do with running away from one of the  
greatest terrors in the world. None whatsoever. His reasons were as  
pure as water.  
  
'I wonder what excuse I shall tell Soun later... Oh, there's my son!  
Time to go into action!' Genma-elephant flapped his ears harder in  
preparation for the upcoming battle.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Back in Furinkan, Tatewaki Kuno, fearless leader of the school kendo  
team, was thinking of the beauty he had laid eyes on earlier.  
  
"Certainly a beauteous flower waiting to be plucked by one such as  
myself," he said aloud, eyes clouded in a love-induced haze.  
  
"Having more in-class wet dreams about my sister, Kuno-chan?"  
  
"Yes..." A second later, having snapped out of his haze, Kuno reacted  
accordingly. "No! While my fierce tigress is definitely one of a kind,  
it is another girl; one that mine eyes hath laid upon this morning. A  
pink-haired goddess."  
  
"So I guess you brought spare clothing?" Nabiki asked smugly.  
  
Kuno blinked, frowning. "I hate you."  
  
"And I love you, Kuno-chan," Nabiki said in an over-sweetened tone  
which most would have picked up as being sarcastic.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Actually... I just love your money."  
  
Kuno gave a huge sigh of relief. "And so the gods have decided to be  
spare me of a fate infinitely worse than death."  
  
'For _that_, information on Nuku Nuku will cost more,' Nabiki thought  
with an inner scowl. "Anyway, for ten thousand yen, I could tell you  
all I know about your pink-haired goddess."  
  
Right away a wad of cash was dropped on Nabiki's desk. "Sold!"  
  
"Her name is Nuku Nuku," Nabiki said, counting the bills in her hand  
slowly, "and she's living with my family at the moment."  
  
"So both of my loves live together. Blessed I must be to have such  
fortune as that."  
  
"There's more. You know that boy who was next to her in the morning?  
Well, his name is Ranma Saotome..." Nabiki made a dramatic pause,  
before dropping the bombshell, "and he's Nuku Nuku's fiance."  
  
Time stood still, waiting for Kuno to pick himself off the floor and  
face Nabiki, who was smirking like a fox. "_What_ did you say?" he  
asked incredulously. Surely his love could not be trapped by one who  
doesn't deserve it?  
  
"And there's more. Ranma's also staying over with my family because he  
is engaged to the Tendo girls."  
  
Time once again stood still, this time waiting for Kuno to pick himself  
out of the hole his head created when falling down. 'How could have it  
happened?! Two of my loves enslaved by this... this... sorcerer!' the  
kendoist wondered, before jumping to his feet and posing righteously.  
"Ranma Saotome, how _dare_ you enslave two beauteous girls such as  
Akane Tendo and Nuku Nuku with your evil ways?!"  
  
"Kuno-chan? I said he could choose one, if not _ALL_, of us to be his  
fiancee."  
  
Pausing in his rant, Kuno replied to Nabiki, "Why, certainly he would  
never be of mind to choose Kasumi as she is older than him along with  
that her purity would destroy evil such as him." The boy snorted,  
casually brushing away a loose strand of hair away from his face. "And  
only a crazy fool would choose you. Why, a choice between you and Akane  
is like one between a dull stone and a diamond." Realizing that there  
was a rant to finish, he continued, "Ranma Saotome, prepare to face the  
wrath of..."  
  
The rest of his speech was cut off by an eraser thrown to his face.  
Regaining his senses, Kuno found himself the recipient of a bucket full  
of water, as he was told to stand outside.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
The residents of a once peaceful Tokyo suburb known as Nerima were  
startled by the chase that took place in the shopping district. A pink  
blur whizzed past them at neck-breaking speed, meowing in glee all the  
while, followed closely by a group of severely underdressed women with  
archaic weapons.  
  
However, the most startling thing, especially for those few that could  
understand Chinese, was the cries of "Airen!" that came from the  
warrior women periodically.  
  
Far ahead of the procession was a bar which, unlike the one where Genma  
and Soun were drinking in, was filled more with businessmen than  
drunks.  
  
One particular man in suit, named Toshu, was rather bored. Staring  
outside through the window, taking note of what seemed to be an  
ordinary day with people walking casually to wherever they had to go,  
he was hoping for something to amuse him or, at the very least, keep  
him awake.  
  
A blurry object sped through, causing any loose articles near it to fly  
around.  
  
"Say, Kenji," Toshu asked the man sitting next to him, "Any idea on  
what just passed by?"  
  
"That? Oh that was a pink-haired catgirl carrying a boy while running  
at a tremendous speed."  
  
Along passed by a huge dust cloud containing what seemed to be a group  
of girls carrying weapons, shouting words that were incomprehensible to  
most of the people around.  
  
"And that?" Toshu asked, sipping some more of his drink. The day didn't  
seem to be as boring anymore.  
  
"Just a group of Chinese Amazons running after their husband, who seems  
to be the boy that the catgirl was carrying," Kenji replied in a tone  
that disclosed a sense of disinterest in the man.  
  
What followed was a pink elephant following the dust cloud, flapping  
his ears at a ridiculous pace to keep himself afloat. Sitting on top of  
the animal was a man wearing a dark brown gi, one hand holding onto the  
elephant for dear life while the other holding a mug of beer. Having  
neared his target, the elephant instantly changed his trajectory and  
dive-bombed the warriors, causing them to scramble for cover. All the  
while his rider held on with a firmer grip, hair waving in the wind as  
he screamed out 'Saaaaooootommmeeee!' again and again while the  
elephant continuously attacked the girls. Surprisingly enough, none of  
beer he held with the other hand was spilt during the attacks.  
  
"..."  
  
Slowly regaining some sense, Toshu asked, "Do I even want to know?"  
  
"Nothing more than a man, who I assume is named 'Saotome', cursed to  
turn into flying pink elephant cub. The man on his back is a friend of  
his as they were probably drinking beer before having to follow the  
others. At the moment, he's trying to distract the girls away from his  
son, who's the boy that's being carried by the catgirl. Good night."  
  
In spectacular fashion, Kenji slammed face-first onto the table,  
causing everything on it to shake from the tremor.  
  
Taking a good look at the unconscious man next to him, Toshu,  
synchronous with those in the bar that had their attention caught by  
the events outside, overturned his cup and allowed its contents to flow  
onto the floor.  
  
'Now _that's_ stuff I'm never gonna drink again,' he thought, knowing  
well that others around him were thinking the same thing.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
The next day, Ranma and Nuku Nuku went to school ahead of the Tendo  
girls, curious about the morning battles. The easiest way to get the  
whole story was to buy it from Nabiki, but Ranma didn't see any reason  
in buying the information when he could just ask anyone else at school  
about it.  
  
'Hopefully today won't be anywhere near as strange as yesterday,' Ranma  
thought when nearing Furinkan, glad that the previous day was at least  
somewhat normal after the incident in which Nuku Nuku carried him to  
the doctor. Amazingly enough, after finding out that nothing was wrong  
with him, they were able to make it back to school in time. Better yet,  
none of the Amazons, including... him... were around. Now if only this  
day could be as good as that...  
  
"Hey, Hiroshi, Daisuke!" the pigtailed boy greeted his two new friends,  
as Nuku Nuku cheerfully waved at them. He met them later on in the  
previous school day, two of the few non-girls he talked with. Though  
they did have a strange habit of staring away from him when talking;  
more like staring at whatever was behind him. 'Must be the type of  
people who can't concentrate on one thing for some time.'  
  
Taking a few moments to drool at the catgirl's rather uninhibited  
nature, especially with her smooth silk dress clinging ever so tightly  
to her skin, the boys eventually came to their wits, and greeted the  
pair.  
  
"Guys," Ranma tried to ask nonchalantly, hoping he had their attention,  
"what's the story with that Akane chick and her fan club?"  
  
As the boys looked at each other uneasily, keeping silent, Ranma asked  
incredulously, "Don't tell me some idiot proclaimed that in order to  
get a date with that girl one had to defeat her in combat first?!"  
  
Daisuke and Hiroshi blinked a couple of times, before the latter  
answered tentatively, " Um... no? They just like her... very much."  
  
Daisuke just nodded right away, agreeing with his friend's explanation.  
  
"So... the only reason Akane kicks their ass is because they ask her on  
dates?" Ranma asked, his right eyebrow twitching nervously.  
  
Nuku Nuku was standing quietly, absorbing the new information. Did it  
mean that in Japan a girl had to beat up every guy that asked her on a  
date? Maybe Ranma was wrong, and Japan was much more similar to that  
nice Amazon village than he told her? At least... everything that had  
to do with Akane was just like in the Amazon village.  
  
Hiroshi shrugged, answering, "Well, actually we think everyone in the  
club is a masochist."  
  
"Oh, man," Ranma groaned, putting his head in his hands. "I'm  
surrounded by freakin' weirdoes!"  
  
Shaking it off like he had to do countless times in the past during his  
decade-long training trip, Ranma put a smile on his face and told Nuku  
Nuku, "C'mon, let's get going. If those sickos wanna get beaten, I say  
let them."  
  
Daisuke and Hiroshi followed them to class, not taking their eyes off  
the catgirl for a moment. Several moments later, the pair of boys  
crumpled onto the floor with matching groans, having walked into the  
banisters at exactly groin-level on the first stair-case.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
Ranma frowned, when Professor Yamagata didn't enter the classroom after  
the bell had rung. Something was wrong, the boy could feel it his  
bones, and he had a feeling that this time it had nothing to do with  
the teacher getting injured again. Glancing at Nuku Nuku to see if her  
danger sense had picked up anything, Ranma shook his head. At least the  
sight of the catgirl playing on her desk with a small toy mouse he'd  
bought her answered his question.  
  
But if they weren't in any physical danger, then why were all of his  
senses screaming, pleading and even begging him to bolt out of the  
classroom immediately? For a moment Ranma thought that _he_ had found  
them. He shook his head, knowing if that was the case then he would  
have already been off and running with Nuku Nuku.  
  
Ranma sighed, labeling it as yet another mystery in his already hectic  
life. Arranging his seat slightly, to allow for better maneuverability  
should he have to fight, the pigtailed boy tensed up, awaiting the  
inevitable.  
  
Five minutes later, when the wait was almost unbearable, the teacher  
finally entered the classroom, followed by several girls. Upon seeing  
their faces, and the clothes they all wore, Ranma, very close to  
fainting, froze in his seat.  
  
"Good morning, class," Professor Yamagata greeted, before indicating  
the new arrivals with a sweep of his right hand. "Today we have new  
foreign exchange students joining us, who will be part of this class  
for the rest of the school year. Why don't you introduce yourselves,  
girls?"  
  
"I Shan Pu, Amazon Princess. We come to Japan to be with husband.  
Anyone mess with Amazon womans learn error of ways!" the purple-haired  
girl announced proudly.  
  
Murmurs started spreading throughout the classroom, with most of the  
female students alternating between glancing at Ranma and the Amazons.  
The male population, for its part, gave the female warriors their  
undivided, lustful attention. The pigtailed boy, however, was  
blissfully unaware of that, as well as anything that had been said  
after hearing 'joining us' and 'the rest of the school year'.  
  
Picking up several of the hushed discussions among the students with  
her highly trained Amazon instinct, Shampoo added, "First one to call  
me hair-care product dies!" frowning for the full effect of the threat.  
  
  
Several of the accompanying Amazons rattled their school bags  
menacingly, letting the rest of the students know that books weren't  
the only thing they carried inside.  
  
The tension was broken by the catgirl exclaiming, "Yay! More friends  
are going to school with Nuku Nuku!" It was going to be just like it  
was back in China! Turning to Ranma, she saw that he was delighted to  
the point of shock. Smiling, she thought, 'Even Ranma is happy to see  
Amazon friends!'  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"Ah! Those girls! Such beauty... such fighting spirit... such an amount  
of gratuitous cleavage! I must have them all!" Kuno said in a scratchy  
voice, coughing after having over-exerted himself. 'That foul sorcerer  
Saotome will truly pay for this,' he seethed, remember the indignity he  
had to go through because of the coward. 'Making himself invisible,  
even to an eye as great as mine, so that I had to run into every  
classroom in Furinkan and scream out his name so as to get his  
attention. Truly no greater coward than he.'  
  
It took all of Nabiki's willpower not to cry out, "What?!" after  
hearing Kuno's latest tirade. Instead, she looked around to see if  
anyone else in the class heard what he said.  
  
'So, Kuno-baby likes Saotome's 'wives', eh? Interesting... very  
interesting. It appears that I might need to visit Ranma during lunch  
today...'  
  
Nabiki's thoughts returned to the present just in time to catch a  
glimpse of Kuno's back, as the teacher sent the upperclassman outside  
for interrupting his class. Seemed someone else also heard what the  
kendoist said; either that or they got annoyed with the sound of his  
voice.  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
"Ranma, wait up!" Nabiki called out to the pigtailed boy, as he jumped  
out of the window of his classroom after grabbing his lunch. Spending  
the lunch period in a classroom full of amorous and armed to the teeth  
Amazons wasn't exactly on his 'to do' list.  
  
"Hey, Nuku, can you bring Nabiki with you?" Ranma called out during his  
descent.  
  
"Okay, Ranma!" the catgirl cheerfully replied. Covering the distance  
between her and Nabiki in one huge leap, she slung the middle Tendo  
daughter over her shoulder and followed Ranma outside through the same  
window he'd just used.  
  
Giving out a startled shriek, Nabiki closed her eyes, completely  
expecting to wake up in a full body cast in some hospital. When she was  
gently set on the ground, the brown-haired girl took a chance and  
opened them slightly, seeing that she was standing in the shade of a  
giant tree. Ranma and his 'fiancee' were sitting in front of her,  
already eating their lunches.  
  
'Right... this sort of thing is normal for these guys. Sheesh!'  
  
Shaking her head to clear it, Nabiki addressed the pigtailed boy.  
"Listen, Ranma, I've got a business proposition for you."  
  
"Oh?" he asked, not raising his head from his lunchbox.  
  
"Yes. Those Amazons are quite taken with you, and will probably do a  
lot for you if you asked them, won't they?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"So how about talking them into doing a few photo shoots? We can split  
the profits between us."  
  
Waiting for an answer as casually as possible, Nabiki strained her ears  
when Ranma mumbled something. Catching only a few syllables, she sighed  
internally in exasperation, lamenting on the things she had to put  
herself through for money, and asked him calmly, "Can you repeat that,  
Ranma? I didn't get your answer."  
  
"I don't need money," the pigtailed boy said simply between bites.  
  
'So that's how he wants to play it, eh? Time for Plan B.'  
  
Putting on her most charming smile, Nabiki whispered throatily, leaning  
towards him, "Are you sure about that, Ranma? Working with me can be  
quite... rewarding."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
Nabiki cursed internally, and decided to use her ultimate attack - the  
dreaded puppy-dog eyes. "But..." she said, sniffing, "I wanted to work  
with you so much." Nabiki's lower lip started to tremble. "Just a  
lonely girl wanting to spend some time with her fiancee... and make  
some money while they're at it..." A tear made its way down Nabiki's  
cheek. "And you... You're not even listening!"  
  
"Huh? Did you want something, Nabiki?" Ranma asked, turning his head  
towards her, a few rice grains stuck to his face.  
  
'Damn him, he's good! Alright, the kid gloves are off!'  
  
"Ranma," Nabiki said in her sternest voice, with no sign of the tears  
that seemed to break out mere moments earlier. "You, that fat, flying  
pink elephant of yours, and the catgirl here cost a lot of money; money  
that comes out of _our_ pockets. _Already_ that catgirl," she said,  
pointing at Nuku Nuku, who was trying to catch a bug that was flying  
around her face, "broke the water heater while chasing a _mouse_, of  
all things! One day and right away we've been forced to take cold  
baths! Unless you have a large stash of money somewhere that you can  
withdraw, you'll have to earn your keep by making those Amazons pose  
for a few pictures."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"You'll do it?!" Nabiki exclaimed incredulously. She'd won, just like  
that? "When will you talk to them?"  
  
"Why would I want to do that?" Ranma asked confusedly.  
  
A vein popped on Nabiki's forehead. Either this guy was a complete  
idiot, or he was playing with her. Mustering her center and hanging on  
to it, she asked slowly, "Didn't you just agree to pay for your stay at  
our dojo?"  
  
"Yep," the pigtailed boy answered, nodding.  
  
"So how will you do that if you don't talk to the Amazons?"  
  
"I'll do the other thing."  
  
"The other thing? What in the world are you..." Nabiki was about to  
demand an explanation, when it suddenly dawned upon her. "You have  
money? You?!"  
  
"Yep. Who do I write the check for?" Ranma asked her, wiping his face  
with a napkin and taking out a check book.  
  
Nabiki caught the words 'National Bank of Japan' on the cover and  
considered fainting, but then suspicion rose in her heart.  
  
"You have to consider a suitable deposit and finder's fee on top of the  
rent for the two months. And you don't expect me to just take a check  
for all that money from someone who's been on the road for a decade,  
now do you? I want..." Nabiki paused, taking a moment to touch her lips  
with a pinky, and continued, "One million yen! Cash, and no later than  
tomorrow morning." Having made her offer, a small smile formed on her  
face. The photo shoot was as good as hers. There was no way someone  
like Ranma would have that much money. He would surely now have to ask  
the Amazons to...  
  
"Only one million? Are you sure that's enough?" Ranma asked, raising  
his eyebrow. "Wow, you're really generous, Nabiki, for letting us all  
stay at your place for one million yen up front! And here I was going  
to write you a check for..." Ranma shook his head, smiling. "Nuku and  
I'll take a detour to the bank today after school and get the money for  
you."  
  
Ranma waited for some sort of reply from the middle Tendo daughter for  
a couple of minutes, before closing her mouth with a finger and getting  
up.  
  
"Hey, Nabiki, the lunch period's ended and all, so you should be going  
back to class. See ya later!"  
  
As Ranma and Nuku Nuku left to their classroom like the rest of the  
students, Nabiki remained outside, her mind in a loop.  
  
'_Only_ one million?'  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
End of Chapter 2.  



	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer time: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogagukan, Kitty and Viz   
Communications own Ranma 1/2. Yuzo Takada and A.D. Vision own All-   
Purpose Cultural Girl Nuku-Nuku. This fic is based on Gregg Sharp's Nuku   
Nuku idea from chapter 30 of 'A Reluctant Bet' (and is used here with   
his permission).   
  
C&C appreciated:   
  
Corwin (ely7@inter.net.il)   
http://corwin.anifics.com/corwin.html   
  
Ginrai (ranmafics@hotmail.com)   
http://members.tripod.com/lwf58/fan_fiction/ginrai/index.html   
  
* Previous chapters can also be found at:   
http://phu.anifics.com/   
http://tannim.anifics.com/   
  
Thanks to Brian Randall for pre-reading this.   
  
  
  
  
All-Purpose Jusenkyo Girl Nuku-Nuku   
  
Chapter 3 - Old acquaintances, gratuitous female appearances and Happi   
nowhere in sight!   
  
Jumping over the gate into the front yard of Furinkan, Nuku Nuku calmly   
landed on her feet, showing no sign of weariness from the running she   
did to school. Smiling as she breathed in the warm, fresh air, the   
catgirl turned around to see if either Ranma or Akane were near. 'I   
wonder why they don't want to run,' she thought. 'Especially when the   
weather's this good!'   
  
Filing that as another one of those things that only humans would do,   
Nuku Nuku went on to think of more important things. Like whether or not   
Kasumi made fish for lunch.   
  
Before she was able to start drooling over the delicious thought of   
fried fish mixed with steaming rice, Nuku Nuku heard footsteps as   
someone walked up to her. Thinking it was Ranma, she turned to face the   
newcomer.   
  
Instead, the catgirl came face-to-face with a brown-haired girl of   
medium height looking somberly back at her. Her aura seemed to show such   
dark despair that even the most cheerful of people would instantly   
become unhappy once within.   
  
"Morning, Mio!" Nuku Nuku said, smiling happily, not at all affected by   
the gloom that the other girl seemed to emit.   
  
"Ominous," Mio said in a mysterious, yet monotonous, voice.   
  
"Eh?" Nuku Nuku asked confusedly.   
  
"I see bad things happening to you in the next couple of days."   
  
"Why is that?" she asked, having no idea what the other girl was talking   
about.   
  
Staring at the ground, as if to compose herself for what she was about   
to say, Mio answered in a disturbingly calm voice, "I... have psychic   
powers. I can partially see what goes on in the future." Looking up, she   
saw the girl whose fate was doomed staring back at her with a blank   
expression. Sighing, she continued, "This morning, while sleeping, I saw   
the image of my grandfather. He told me that the school will be in   
danger and it will all center around you." She pointed towards the   
catgirl. "A girl whose movements resemble that of a feline's."   
  
The psychic was too much into her speech to notice Nuku Nuku wiping off   
the large sweatdrops on the back of her head.   
  
"And then, an image formed in my head. Upon sight it brought a fear to   
my heart that I never felt before. One whose features were so terrifying   
that I immediately woke up and frantically drew a picture of what my   
mind beheld, lest I end up forgetting how it looks, thus ensuring our   
end." Taking out a piece of paper from her schoolbag, Mio handed it over   
to the catgirl. "This is what I drew."   
  
"What's this?" Nuku Nuku asked, looking at the strange drawing in front   
of her. It looked like a massive, purple blob wearing a furry, grey hat.   
She tried turning it around onto different sides to see if maybe she was   
viewing it wrong.   
  
Mio looked back at her and calmly said, "It's... a laughing hyena on top   
of a ten-foot tall dinosaur."   
  
"WHAT?!" Nuku Nuku was aghast, taking a step back to recoil in shock.   
She had no idea what the psychic meant, but now that the figure in the   
picture had a name, it _must_ be something bad. The catgirl knew what   
she must do and leapt over the wall in frantic search of Ranma and   
Akane. If anything, they'll tell her what to do when a laughing hyena on   
top of a ten foot-tall dinosaur attacked.   
  
"You... You jumped off the wrong foot," Mio said, staring at spot where   
the catgirl just left. "We're all doomed."   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Walking casually on the fence towards school, Ranma wondered, not for   
the first time, whether or not Akane was ignoring him on purpose. 'Geez,   
just because I said that Nuku's Chinese dresses weren't the right size   
for her... Ah, well. I'm guessing she's one of those people whose mood   
changes rapidly.'   
  
"Ranma! Akane!"   
  
Hearing the shout, the pigtailed boy hopped off the fence and looked up   
to see Nuku Nuku running towards him and Akane, her facial expression   
giving off a sense of urgency. "Hey, Nuku. What's up?"   
  
Panting after having overexerted herself to reach her friends, the   
catgirl grabbed both of them by their shoulders and shouted,   
"MioSaysThatALargePurpleDinosaurAndALaughingHyenaAreAfterMe!"   
  
Akane, annoyed at being suddenly grabbed, blinked and asked, "What are   
you trying to say?"   
  
Nuku Nuku showed Ranma and Akane the drawing and explained in detail   
what Mio told her.   
  
Feeling her right eyebrow ever-so-slightly twitch, Akane asked the   
catgirl, voice becoming icy as she continued, "You mean to tell me that   
you came all the way here and stopped us from going to school because   
you think that a dinosaur is after you?!"   
  
The pink-haired girl shook her head, saying, "That not what Nuku Nuku   
mean." Seeing she got Akane's interest, Nuku Nuku said, "Think that   
laughing hyena _on top_ of ten-foot tall dinosaur is after me."   
  
One massive scream of frustration later, Akane turned towards Ranma, who   
throughout this looked like the epitome of calmness. "And what do _you_   
think of this, Ranma?"   
  
"Eh. It could happen. I've seen weirder things."   
  
Both eyebrows giving off a noticeable twitch, the raven-haired girl   
walked away from the other two, not caring if they follow her or not.   
She wondered if she was the only normal one around. It seemed that way   
lately, especially with Nuku Nuku's absurd belief. 'Besides, it would   
make so much more sense if it was a ten-feet tall dinosaur riding a   
laughing hyen--' Akane slapped herself a few times, not wanting to   
continue that thought.   
  
"Are you okay, Akane?" asked a concerned voice from behind.   
  
She jumped up in shock, eyes wide, turning around right away to see if   
anyone knew what she was thinking of. Seeing it was the two from before,   
Akane said, straightening herself up to try and look as normal as   
possible, "Umm, yeah. I'm fine. Might as well walk with you two to   
school." She didn't want to be caught off guard like that again.   
  
Nearing Furinkan, she took note on how quiet it was. Ever since Shampoo   
and her friends gave the boys an ultimatum - fight them and get   
instantly turned into a girl - the morning fights stopped. 'With the   
weapons those Amazons have, I can see why. Though Kuno's trying to   
attack Ranma to try and 'free his loves'... Idiot.' Akane shook her   
head. In the end, Kuno was still Kuno.   
  
Passing through the gates, Akane gave Nuku Nuku a look of satisfaction.   
"See? What did I tell you? I can't believe you got worked up over   
something so stu--"   
  
"Saotome, prepare yourself!"   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Ranma immediately stiffened, becoming as rigid as a board. Once the   
initial shock set in, his muscles unclenched, allowing the pigtailed boy   
to regain control of his motor functions. Sweating profusely, Ranma   
looked around in an attempt to locate the course of the voice. "Oh, man,   
I can't believe she found me!"   
  
Nuku Nuku turned to look at Ranma confusedly. Flicking an ear, the   
catgirl asked, "What are you talking about?"   
  
"She..." He took a deep breath to calm himself before shouting in reply   
when he was satisfied he could say an entire sentence without   
stammering, "She's the epitome of EVIL; the one spelled with big,   
capital letters!"   
  
"Evil?" Akane repeated, not sounding convinced.   
  
"EVIL!!!" Ranma insisted, nodding frantically.   
  
"You don't like this girl very much, do you, Saotome?" Nabiki   
deadpanned, making a mental note to try and find out as much as she   
could about someone that made Saotome nervous. Aside from the Amazons,   
that is, but they were after Ranma's manly bod-- Hey! Maybe that was   
what's been going on now?   
  
A chilling laugh interrupted Nabiki's train of thought, making her wince   
involuntarily. "Ohohohohoho!"   
  
"That laugh! What is my sister doing here?! Saotome, you cur! How dare   
you ensnare my sister!" Kuno, who had appeared seemingly out of nowhere,   
grabbed the cringing martial artist and yelled at him.   
  
Relaxing after a few moments, Kuno blinked and released Ranma. "Oh. This   
is not my twisted sister." He picked up Ranma again and started shaking   
him. "Saotome, how _dare_ you ensnare this young and virile woman..."   
  
"Give it a rest, will you, Kuno!" Ranma shot at the swordsman with a   
frown, planting a foot in his face.   
  
"I want to become one with you, Ranma. Body and... hmm, your body is   
enough for me!" the beautiful long-haired girl announced, before   
breaking into laughter once more.   
  
"Ease off on the laugh, Biiko!" Ranma commanded, before continuing   
ominously, "So, you've found me at last..."   
  
"For two whole years I have searched the world for you, going as far as   
the top of the Everest and the heart of the Arctic..." Biiko replied,   
raising a shaking fist to the heavens.   
  
"Did ya try China?" the pigtailed boy queried casually.   
  
Biiko just fumed silently in response.   
  
"Anyway, read my lips. I ain't interested. You're pretty an' all, and   
the money can't be all that bad, but there are other things in life."   
  
Puzzled, Biiko looked at Ranma, and asked, "Like what?"   
  
"Umm, I dunno. Friends?" Ranma replied, scratching the back of his head.   
"Ice-cream is nice... and--"   
  
"Enough! You _will_ be mine, Ranma!" Biiko shouted, before discarding   
her school uniform, revealing a very flimsy hardsuit underneath.   
  
Ranma noticed the high heels that really clashed with the metal bikini   
and sighed internally. Not overly impressed and ignoring one of the   
spectators shouting, "My eyes! Oh, my eyes! Dear sweet kami! I'm blind!"   
he looked at his companions for some insight.   
  
Akane, who had been stunned into silence throughout the conversation,   
was blushing furiously and trying very hard not to look at the severely   
under-dressed girl. Nabiki had a calculating smirk on her face, and   
Ranma noticed her left hand reaching for a miniature camera that she   
habitually carried, as he'd discovered earlier that week upon   
accidentally meeting her in the dressing room of the furo. Turning his   
head towards Nuku Nuku, he suppressed a laugh at how her right eye kept   
on twitching violently. Unless he somehow got his facts wrong, the   
catgirl was getting territorial again.   
  
'Oh well, at least we're not in a village filled with Amazons anymore,'   
Ranma thought, shuddering internally. Giving Biiko a glance, he   
announced firmly, "I don't think so."   
  
Turning to go into the school, Ranma petted the pink-haired girl on the   
head and added in a sing-song voice, "Nuku, try not to make too big of a   
mess, okay?"   
  
"Alright, Ranma!" Nuku Nuku replied cheerfully, smiling widely and   
brandishing her translucent ki claws.   
  
"Umm, wait... No, don't..." Biiko protested, madly jumping all over the   
schoolyard in an attempt to avoid the catgirl's claws. "Ahhhh!!!"   
  
Grimacing, Akane grabbed the pigtailed boy's shoulder and yelled,   
"Ranma! That poor, defenseless girl will be slaughtered! How can you   
just stand here and let your pet kill that completely normal--"   
  
"Akagiyama missiles!"   
  
"...girl," Akane finished lamely, as explosions sounded all around her,   
miraculously missing the present students, who opted to flee in fear.   
  
Raising an eyebrow, Ranma asked, "Defenseless?"   
  
"Just shut up!" Akane shot back at him, stomping away.   
  
"Play nicely, now!" Ranma called out to Biiko with a smile, before   
finally entering the school.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
A quarter of an hour later, the catgirl showed up at class, the hem of   
her dress looking slightly singed. Despite that, she was cheerful as   
ever. Taking her seat beside Ranma just as the bell rang, she told him   
that Biiko finally flew away. The pigtailed boy just shrugged, and   
closed his eyes, preparing to sleep until the lunch period.   
  
No one bothered Ranma, as the female students stared at him with lustful   
and adoring gazes, sighing occasionally. The male population of the   
class unanimously settled for drooling over Nuku Nuku's revealing   
clothing, some of the more daring boys occasionally sneaking peeks at an   
Amazon or two when they thought the female warriors weren't looking or   
brandishing their weapons about.   
  
Professor Yamagata made an attempt to wake Ranma early on into the   
period, but the piece of chalk thrown at the pigtailed boy was deflected   
by a small, curved dagger that continued on its course and imbedded   
itself a few centimeters away from the teacher's right ear. The teacher   
turned his head oh-so-slowly towards Shampoo, who gave him an evil smirk   
and held up two more daggers between her fingers. Their wicked blades   
were pointed lower... much lower.   
  
Once she was satisfied that her message had come across, Shampoo turned   
around happily and resumed watching Ranma sleep. Since she would be   
leaving soon with all of the other Amazons to find a place to stay, the   
purple-haired girl wanted to etch a picture of her beloved into her   
mind, to comfort her in the time they must regretfully spend apart.   
Besides, he was just too too cute like that, and anyone who would dare   
wake him up would feel the full wrath of the proud Amazon nation!   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Ranma woke up at the sound of the bell, and stretched his arms, yawning.   
Glancing at Nuku, he frowned upon realizing that her dress had been   
damaged more than he had initially thought. Signaling the purple-haired   
Amazon to come closer, he whispered to her conspiratorially, "Hey,   
Shampoo, do you mind giving Nuku another dress?" Frowning, he added, "I   
don't like the way all those guys are ogling her... more than usual,   
that is."   
  
Shampoo nodded happily, giving the pigtailed boy a smile. "Is no   
problem, Ranma! Leave it to Shampoo!" Bouncing over to the catgirl, the   
Amazon grabbed her right hand and started pulling her towards the   
window.   
  
"Where are we going?" Nuku Nuku asked in confusion.   
  
"Shampoo give wife better dress. Is good, yes?"   
  
Nuku Nuku seemed to accept that reason, and followed the Amazon. They   
reached the window next to Ranma's desk in no time, and Shampoo was   
about to jump out when the pigtailed boy asked her, "Why don't you use   
the door?"   
  
Shampoo frowned, and pointed at the window, saying, "Is Amazon way." Her   
frown disappeared immediately afterwards, and she waved at Ranma,   
jumping out of the window.   
  
Nuku Nuku mirrored her gesture, and followed the Amazon.   
  
Ranma stared off into the distance for a few moments, before shaking his   
head. "I won't think about it," he muttered, returning his attention   
towards his book bag. Fishing out his bento from it, the pigtailed boy   
turned towards Akane, waving at her. When she pointedly ignored his   
presence, Ranma walked over to her, smiling. "Hey, wanna have lunch   
together?"   
  
"You just want to steal my food," Akane grumbled, hugging her bento   
protectively to her chest. She wasn't about to forgive him for his   
earlier comment.   
  
Ranma's face took on a hurt look. "How can you say something like that   
about me?"   
  
"I know you just want to shove your dirty chopstick into my bento!" she   
snapped at him. "Stop playing those perverted games with me!"   
  
"Perverted games?" Daisuke asked no one in particular, promptly getting   
hit by Sayuri.   
  
"Idiot!" she hissed at him in lower tones. "She means foreplay!"   
  
"The imagery is kinda weird, isn't it?" Yuka murmured. "Is that some   
weird food fetish?"   
  
Hiroshi shrugged, taking out a small and worn out notepad. "I dunno. The   
Americans say something about salami and an oven, so this isn't too far   
fetched." He turned to a new page and began to write, talking out loud   
while doing so. "Akane says 'Shove dirty chopsticks into bento'."   
Reading what he had just wrote, he exclaimed, "Ohhh... Kinky!"   
  
Akane grabbed the notebook from Hiroshi's hands and ripped it to shreds,   
her face red not unlike a ripe tomato. "Stop saying those perverted   
things about me!"   
  
"Ahhhh!!!" Hiroshi yelled, dropping to his knees and picking up the torn   
out pages. Lifting a tear-stricken face at Akane, he sobbed, "How could   
you do this?! This notebook... is my life!"   
  
Akane stomped on the notebook once more for good measure and huffed,   
walking out of the classroom stiffly. Ranma followed her closely,   
attempting to start a conversation with the girl.   
  
"M-My notebook..." Hiroshi mumbled, before raising his head to the   
Heavens and howling, "NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" madly.   
  
"His uncle gave it to him," Daisuke told Yuka and Sayuri sadly. "Hiroshi   
said it was very educational..." A sudden frown creasing his forehead,   
he scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Though I'm wondering why he's   
getting so worked up over it. If I remember correctly, Hiroshi has a box   
full of these back home."   
  
Daisuke promptly got smacked on the head by Hiroshi, who hissed at him,   
"You're ruining the scene!" Winking, he continued, "Besides, the more   
angst I show, the better chance I have to get a girl..." Realizing that   
Yuka and Sayuri were still in listening distance, the boy turned around   
slowly, chuckling nervously, one thought dominating his mind. 'Uh oh...'   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Ranma, Nabiki and Akane were sitting together in the courtyard. The   
youngest Tendo daughter was still ignoring Ranma, though her older   
sister didn't have any such qualms.   
  
"Say, who was that girl that showed up earlier today, Ranma?" Nabiki   
asked him nonchalantly between bites. The look she gave him out of the   
corner of her eye betrayed her interest at his answer, though.   
  
"Biiko," Ranma replied simply, continuing to attack his bento with a   
gusto.   
  
"B-ko?" Nabiki repeated after him with a raised eyebrow.   
  
Ranma shrugged, snatching a pickle with his chopsticks and admiring it   
for a brief moment, before popping it into his mouth. "Close enough."   
  
"Who is she?" Nabiki couldn't help but ask, mentally shaking her head in   
disbelief as she recalled the events which transpired in the morning.   
'Flying hardsuits packed with dozens of missiles? If I hadn't seen a   
Jusenkyo curse, I'd never believe that...'   
  
"Just some crazy chick that's after me," the pigtailed boy replied   
quietly with no small amount of resentment in his voice.   
  
"You don't like her much, then?"   
  
"Like her?!" Ranma snapped, glaring at Nabiki for a few moments before   
reigning in his anger and averting his gaze. "I can't even stand her   
laugh!"   
  
"Did you defeat her too, Ranma-baby?"   
  
"Not really... Nabs."   
  
Nabiki froze, and leveled a frosty glare at him. "Don't you ever call me   
that name again."   
  
"I won't..." Ranma drawled out, "if you won't call me 'Ranma-baby'...   
Nabs." The pigtailed boy smirked at the expression of quiet rage that   
appeared on her features before she managed to school them into an   
emotionless mask.   
  
"Stop flirting in broad daylight, you perverts!" Akane snapped at the   
two, finally finished with her lunch.   
  
"What's the matter, Sis?" Nabiki smirked, having found an easier target   
to vent her frustration at. "Jealous?"   
  
Stunned for a moment, Akane was speechless. She shook her head   
vehemently and made a face, stomping off on her own.   
  
"You still haven't answered my question... Ranma," Nabiki pressed on   
when they were alone.   
  
"About what?"   
  
"That B-ko girl."   
  
Ranma sat in silence for several moments, before sighing. "You might as   
well know the full story. That chick's full name is Biiko Daitokuji. We   
stayed at her old man's place for some time during the training trip. In   
fact, that was the only place where we didn't get kicked out when Pop   
tried to steal something." Smiling, he added with amusement showing   
clearly in his voice, "Probably cause it helped test their security   
system every time he tripped on an alarm."   
  
"So that's how you got your money?!" Nabiki exclaimed, congratulating   
herself on her perfect deduction skills.   
  
"Nah." Ranma shook his head to the negative. "I never stole anything in   
my life."   
  
Nabiki gave him a level look. "Anything?"   
  
Ranma rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well... I never stole   
anything expensive. Food, on the other hand..." Ignoring Nabiki's smirk,   
Ranma continued, "Pop, however, just doesn't like to work... and he's   
too lazy..."   
  
"I think I get the point, Ranma," Nabiki said dryly.   
  
The pigtailed boy kept on talking, counting on his fingers as he did so,   
"... too stupid... too ugly..."   
  
Nabiki's left eyebrow twitched, and she smacked him on the back of his   
head. "I said I got the point!"   
  
The pigtailed boy looked at her for a long moment, before nodding   
slowly. "Right." With a shrug of his shoulders, he continued his story.   
"Anyway, I think he wanted to engage me to that Biiko chick, but was too   
scared of her. We ended up running away and going to China. Pop must've   
been really afraid that time."   
  
"And you just went along with it?!" the Tendo girl asked incredulously.   
  
Ranma shrugged. "I didn't want to stay with her, so I couldn't care   
less. I didn't like sneaking out, but I doubt she'd have let us go   
otherwise."   
  
"What do you mean?" Nabiki scrunched her forehead in mild confusion. "B-   
ko would've kept you locked in her apartment?"   
  
"Her mansion. And yes, she'd probably lock us in some dungeon. She looks   
like the type who'd have a dungeon."   
  
Nabiki boggled at the money the Daitokuji family must have and at how   
casually Ranma talked about it. Before she could try to get more   
information from him, however, the bell rang, signaling the end of the   
lunch period. They two stood up, brushing a few crumbs that got on their   
clothes away and reached the school, heading towards their respective   
classrooms.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Throughout his years of strenuous training, Soun Tendo had taken upon   
many small hobbies to keep himself from going insane.   
  
One of them was bird watching.   
  
Ever since that day several years ago, when he had paid actual attention   
to a winged creature glide through the air without a care for the first   
time, Soun had wondered how it would feel to be able to have another   
level of freedom when the ground just wasn't enough. That, and he was   
curious as to why certain birds seemed to fly head-on into solid   
objects.   
  
Now that he experienced this form of journeying first-hand, Soun   
realized that he just wasn't cut out for flying. Throwing in the fact   
that animals, especially ones with sharp beaks, kept heading towards him   
as if he shouldn't exist, made his decision all the more easier.   
  
"Saotome?" he asked his currently pink companion, who was actually doing   
all the heavy duty work as far as air travel went. "Just why is it that   
on certain days you have this sudden impulse to flap your ears and fly?"   
  
Genma-elephant's trunk twisted upwards, holding a sign in front of   
Soun's face. [For practice, of course!]   
  
"Ah, I see." He realized that his friend was just trying to get used to   
his cursed form, in case there was ever a moment when it was truly   
necessary to take on the elephant form. Soun's eyes suddenly widened in   
shock. Pointing out forward, he shouted, "Saotome, watch out for that--"   
  
But it was far too late as Genma-elephant crashed into a tall tree. His   
thick cranium lessened the effects of the blow, though it was enough to   
prevent him from flying as he toppled backwards.   
  
It was a sight to behold as both rider and carrier fell through the air,   
shrieks of 'Why?!' and frantic bellows heard every now and then, vainly   
trying to grab onto something as to stop their descent. Soun vaguely   
felt violated as several long objects too slippery to be tree branches   
brushed against his behind. However, being in public, he couldn't bring   
himself to ask a small pink elephant in whether the creature had tried   
to molest him.   
  
Unfortunately for Soun, he was the one to reach ground first, followed   
by Genma-elephant right on top of him. "That... hurt," he moaned,   
finding out the hard way that elephant cubs are quite heavy, before   
drifting off into an unexpected rest.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
As a new school day started, Ranma, along with Nuku Nuku and the Tendo   
girls, walked towards Furinkan High, his thoughts not quite on the   
upcoming schoolwork but on other things. Most of them having to do with   
a certain girl and prayers that he would never have to see her again.   
'So far it's been working with regards to _him_. Only thing that could   
be worse is if I see them both at the same time.' Ranma shuddered, not   
wanting to even fathom such an unholy meeting. Deep in thought, he   
didn't pay attention to what was around him, eyes only staring at the   
sidewalk in front.   
  
"Ranma, are you okay?" Nuku Nuku asked once again, concerned about why   
he wasn't his usual playful self that day, only muttering at times about   
huge robots.   
  
She did everything to try and get his attention from waving her hands in   
front of him, to running in front to make him stop, though all that did   
was have him swerve away from her, to even licking his ear. The last one   
seemed to get the attention of Akane, who muttered something about all   
boys being perverts. Nuku Nuku still couldn't understand these humans   
that well. Wasn't it customary to lick someone all over to get their   
attention?   
  
'Did Baka-san do something?' she wondered, recalling how different and   
slightly pale Genma looked when talking to Ranma during the morning   
spar. The catgirl wondered if bribing the elephant with peanuts would   
get her some answers from him.   
  
Her curiosity about Ranma still high, the catgirl walked over to ask   
Akane if anything happened. "Nuku Nuku worried about Ranma. Try   
everything but Ranma still not react. It's so hard to get him going.   
Does Akane know if anything happen?"   
  
At first the other girl blushed before realization set, causing her to   
shout back, "How should I know?!" walking away in a huff...   
  
*SPLASH*   
  
Right into the water an old lady was tossing out of her pail.   
  
"Nuku Nuku go back to Ranma now," the pink-haired girl replied before   
smelling the air and adding, "Akane should take a bath. She doesn't   
smell nice anymore." And with that she cheerfully ran off, leaving dust   
in her wake. When the dust cleared, a wet and fuming girl could be seen.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Not having noticed that two of the girls were left behind, Ranma walked   
on, still in a trance-like state.   
  
'Just one sign, that's all I want. Any sort of sign pointing towards   
Biiko not being here.'   
  
As if on cue, everything around him got dimmer while a single ray of   
light shined briefly on the pigtailed boy.   
  
'Thank you!' Ranma, taking it as 'the sign', thought with glee as he   
looked up... to see Biiko, smiling and standing in front of the school   
with twelve huge figures covered in cloth behind her.   
  
"YOU LIED!!!" he screamed up to the heavens.   
  
"Greetings, my love," the silver-haired girl stated in a haughty tone,   
tracing her fingers through her hair, not taking notice of the boy's   
distressed state. "Such a nice day, don't you think?"   
  
"You still around after yesterday? Didn't ya have enough?!" Ranma shot   
back.   
  
"But, Ranma-sama, I have discovered the key to your love," Biiko   
replied. Putting up three fingers and counting them down, she went on,   
"Wealth, intellect, a good breeding... all these take a second place for   
you in a woman."   
  
"What the hell are you rambling 'bout there?" Ranma asked, confused but   
not liking the tone of the conversation one bit.   
  
Before Biiko could continue, a cloud of dust appeared behind the other   
two and stopped next to Ranma. When it cleared, Nuku Nuku was standing   
by Ranma's side, mouth agape in awe of the huge, cloth-covered figures.   
Then, seeing the girl standing in front of the figures, she smiled and   
waved at her. Maybe the girl wanted to play with her again and be   
kissed, like her friends from the Amazon village.   
  
Hearing someone else running into school grounds, Nabiki turned and saw   
her sister, who had dried herself before arriving.   
  
By the time she reached Nabiki, Akane chose to glare at Nuku Nuku before   
looking towards Biiko. Something major was about to happen, she noticed,   
and certainly those two need her martial arts skills for this!   
  
For a split-second Biiko recoiled at the sight of the catgirl before   
composing herself.   
  
"The way to win your heart, Ranma, is through power!" she shouted,   
punching a fist in the air for emphasis. Then, pointing a finger at her   
beloved, Biiko continued, "Saotome Ranma, I challenge you! If my robots   
defeat you, then you'll marry me..."   
  
"And if I win?" the pigtailed boy asked in a hopeful tone.   
  
"Ohohohohohoho!" the girl responded. Looking at Ranma in the eyes, she   
said, "My robots are the embodiment of power! But, if you shall manage   
the impossible, I shall take your leave, my darling."   
  
"Just what I wanted to hear!" Ranma smiled, striking a fist into the   
palm of his other hand, ready as ever for the fight.   
  
"Ranma! You can't agree to this... this... lunacy!" Nabiki screamed   
towards the two, terrified at the possibility of Ranma and Nuku Nuku   
dying. All the fun they could have together, and the money she could   
have made, gone because of this. It would be the greatest waste ever!   
  
Biiko, glaring at Nabiki, shouted back, "Shut up, insolent wench!"   
  
Turning around, Ranma added, "Nabiki, this is my best chance to get rid   
of that fruitcake once and for all!" Then, looking back at Biiko, he   
looked at her gravely and said, "I accept your challenge, Biiko. Nuku   
an' me will go against your robots. And as you said, if we win, you'll   
leave us alone."   
  
"Are we going to play again, Ranma?" Nuku Nuku asked, jumping up and   
down at the thought of all the fun they were going to have.   
  
"Yep, Nuku." Smiling while cracking his knuckles, Ranma shouted, "Bring   
it on, Biiko!"   
  
With a victorious grin, Biiko pulled out a remote control and pressed a   
few commands on it, causing the dozen huge robots to remove the cloth   
that covered them previously, making everyone present recoil in shock.   
  
"I based them on what seems to be a popular show that commoners   
adore..." Biiko announced proudly, gesturing lazily at the closest   
robot. "They appear to be the epitome of love!"   
  
Paling, Hiroshi pointed at the mecha, shouting, "Oh dear God! It... it   
looks just like that... that evil THING from that God-awful show!"   
  
"I can't believe they were able to twist a pure and beautiful emotion   
such as love that badly," Daisuke remarked with a groan.   
  
The girls opted to point at the bulky robots and whisper amongst   
themselves. "I know what they mean. What was it called, something about   
friends?" Yuka asked Sayuri.   
  
Whirling to face the two, Hiroshi immediately shushed them, making a   
scary face to the girls. "You actually remember that much of that damned   
name?! I've been trying to forget ever since..."   
  
"I blame society!" Daisuke exclaimed, choking back a sob. "No, better   
yet, I blame my parents for making me watch that horror!"   
  
More than a bit annoyed at the murmurs of the crowd and at the smiling   
faces and waves Nuku Nuku made to her creations, Biiko shouted, "Enough!   
ATTACK!!!"   
  
The robots moved towards Ranma, Nuku Nuku and the two girls. Nabiki   
wisely stepped aside and took cover as the other three fell into their   
stances.   
  
Suddenly, a breeze that came out of nowhere swept through the area,   
kicking up a dust cloud in its wake. Once the dust settled somewhat, the   
outline of a teenage became visible in its center. The figure walked out   
of it until it was in front of Akane, revealing itself to be an   
upperclassman in a kendo outfit, and grasped her right hand.   
  
"My fair lady, I shall vanquish those foul demons and be free to date   
thee!" he announced bravely, blind to the amount of sheer disgust that   
appeared on his beloved's face. Holding up his bokken proudly, Kuno   
charged at the robots, only to be swatted aside in an anticlimactic   
fashion like an insignificant fly by a purple mecha.   
  
Akane followed Kuno's trajectory, hearing another student shout out,   
"Kuno-sempai got hurt again!" until he became one with the school's   
wall, and wisely decided to step out of the attacking robots' way and   
move over to stand next to her sister. If there was anything that Ranma   
and Nuku Nuku's arrival had taught her was that while it was   
embarrassing to withdraw from a fight like this, it was much more   
embarrassing, not to mention painful, to actually participate in one of   
that caliber.   
  
Besides, without her superior skills, those two perverted jerks would no   
doubt get the beating of their lives!   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
The closest mecha to Ranma wasted no time and launched a lightning-fast   
punch at the pigtailed boy's head. Ranma's features blurred momentarily,   
as he jumped onto the overextended appendage and jogged upwards,   
flinging his body towards the mecha's head when he reached its shoulder.   
  
The purple robot tried to swat at the nuisance with its left arm, only   
to stop short when Ranma's body went through its head, somersaulting   
through the air and landing lightly on his feet.   
  
The mecha staggered, and fell forwards heavily, raising a cloud of dust   
as it did so.   
  
"Let's get them, Nuku!" Ranma shouted excitedly, rushing over to his   
next victim.   
  
Squealing in delight, Nuku Nuku ran towards the nearest robot and   
grabbed it by its foot. It was play time again!   
  
Raising the giant metallic monster over her head, she twisted in her   
place several times, before letting go of it. Flung by the kinetic   
energy generated by the centrifugal forces, the bright red mecha   
impacted upon another of its kind, a distinctly yellow one. The two   
robots hit their heads together and fell to the ground, taking a third   
one, green this time, with them. The three robots together combined a   
bizarre, colorful sandwich, lying on top of one another motionlessly.   
  
High-fiving each other, Ranma and Nuku Nuku turned towards a neon-cherry   
mecha that stared at them dumbly. Exchanging a glance and a smile, the   
two double-teamed it, raining blows all over its legs, completely   
destroying them in the process. When the giant robot sagged down, Ranma   
and Nuku Nuku each grabbed one of its arms, pulling on the count of   
three. The mecha was neatly torn into two more or less equal halves.   
  
Down to only seven robots out of what only moments before had been a   
whole dozen, Biiko ordered them to open fire. White-hot plasma streaked   
from the robots towards their two targets, making them scramble for   
cover, madly dodging all the while.   
  
Lasers joined in on the fun, as two of the robots shot precise beams of   
concentrated red light at Ranma. Nuku Nuku wasn't fairing much better   
than him, having to dodge the collective fire of the remaining five   
mecha.   
  
However the case was, both combatants managed to avoid getting hit, and   
Biiko began to fret. Normally, she'd just wait for her opponents to tire   
themselves out... but this was Ranma!   
  
The snobbish girl narrowed her eyes, when she saw Ranma take out a small   
keypad seemingly out of thin air and punch in a few numbers, before   
leaping away once more to dodge the incoming attacks. Biiko had the   
distinct feeling that she was running out of time, and decided to go for   
broke.   
  
Utilizing the full capabilities of her robots, Biiko ordered them to   
fire their entire missile load. A thunderous roar caused by their launch   
shattered windows in a five mile radius, as missiles literally covered   
the sky, soaring overhead in a circle and even going as far as blocking   
out the sun.   
  
All of the spectators looked at them in awe, and even the combatants   
stopped fighting, and looked at the heavens quizzically.   
  
And then, all of the missiles slowly started to form a gigantic sword,   
whose tip pointed at Ranma, Nuku Nuku... and the entire student body   
that was too close to them to escape unharmed.   
  
Screams sounded all over the school yard, as all the spectators ran away   
in horror. The mechs made things especially difficult by resuming their   
fire. Glancing gravely at the missiles, Ranma signaled for the catgirl   
to shield him, and wasting no time turned away, taking out a small,   
sleek datapad. Knowing what was at stake, Nuku Nuku redoubled her   
efforts against the robots, tearing out a metallic drainage pipe and   
batting away the plasma shots, while simply reflecting the laser beams.   
  
As Ranma punched furiously at the little device, the catgirl managed to   
deflect a laser beam into one of the mecha, and then successfully   
redirected three plasma bolts into it while the orange robot was   
immobile. The remaining six mecha withdrew and regrouped, opting to fire   
at the pink-haired girl from afar.   
  
Nuku Nuku tried to deflect their shots, but the larger distance between   
her and the robots worked against the catgirl, giving her opponents time   
to move out of the way, while continuing to fire methodically. And,   
unlike them, she didn't have that luxury. Moving away would mean that   
her human would get hurt; as simple as that.   
  
It was her duty to protect her human.   
  
Knowing in her heart that Ranma would solve the problem if given the   
chance, Nuku Nuku continued to stand her ground. She only winced when a   
stray shot came to close to her body, going through her skirt and   
setting it on fire. Not bothering to put the fire out, Nuku Nuku tore   
the burning section off, idly throwing it aside.   
  
"How much longer, Ranma?" she asked raggedly, trying not to let any of   
her tiredness creep into her voice.   
  
"Almost... there..." the pigtailed boy replied, his breathing labored   
and sweat pouring down his brow.   
  
Nuku Nuku nodded to herself curtly, and narrowed her eyes at the mecha.   
She was able to deflect a few more shots, before the metal overheated   
and the catgirl was forced to drop it, so that she wouldn't get burnt.   
  
A few stray shots went over her head, before one bolt of plasma went   
headed straight for Ranma's head. Nuku Nuku knew that normally her human   
would have no problem dodging the attack, despite the fact that it was   
fired at him from behind. However, she also knew that he wouldn't move   
from his spot, having total and complete confidence in her and her   
abilities to defend them both.   
  
Leaping to intercept the shot, Nuku Nuku winced she blocked it with her   
left shoulder. But even that desperate act only bought her a few   
moments, as three more plasma bolts headed her way menacingly. The   
missiles that had finally gotten into their giant sword-like formation   
and were rapidly descending towards them weren't helping matters either.   
  
Unable to protect Ranma from that position anymore, the catgirl grabbed   
him in a fireman's carry and leaped away. The tiny device Ranma was   
working on fell to the ground out of the startled pigtailed boy's hands,   
clattering to the ground.   
  
When they were relatively safe, the catgirl put Ranma back on the   
ground, and said, "Sorry we had to go, but Nuku Nuku couldn't fight on   
that spot anymore!"   
  
"Hey, that's alright, Nuku," Ranma replied, smiling at her reassuringly.   
"I was just about to tell you that I was finished."   
  
Unperturbed by the large boom that sounded from above, as explosions   
wreaked havoc through the myriad of missiles, ripping them apart without   
detonating their nuclear-tipped warheads, the pink-haired girl returned   
his smile, cheerful as ever after the praise. Ranma's eyes involuntarily   
traveled downwards all over her body...   
  
And the pigtailed boy immediately noticed something. He could see a   
whole lot of flesh; too much even for the carefree catgirl.   
  
"Nuku, what happened to you?!" Ranma exclaimed, his eyes widening in   
horror when he realized that her left shoulder was charred and bleeding.   
  
"Stupid big and ugly robots don't play fair," Nuku Nuku replied   
agitatedly, remembering her recent predicament.   
  
And the evil things even tried to hurt her human!   
  
Playtime was over.   
  
Glaring at the gigantic mecha surrounding her in a wide semi-circle,   
Nuku Nuku slowly crossed her hands in front of her chest, before   
bringing them down sharply as light erupted around her knuckles where   
her translucent ki claws came to life.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Biiko hurriedly dispatched orders to her robots, switching to backup   
plan C. Somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind, a small part of her   
was bothered that plans A and B were all failures, but Biiko couldn't be   
bothered with such trivialities at the moment.   
  
Plan C's success rate was over ninety-nine percent! Every simulation   
she'd run the day before had pointed to that unanimously!   
  
The remaining six mecha retracted the fingers on their hands, sprouting   
long claws of diamond instead.   
  
Amidst the chaos, Biiko's haughty laugh sounded through the wreaked   
school yard, augmented by the remaining robots' external speakers.   
  
"Soon, my love, you shall be mine... all mine!"   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Ranma's left eye twitched violently, and he shook his head angrily. The   
pigtailed boy was about to shout a degenerating reply to Biiko when the   
entire school yard exploded in bright white light.   
  
Shielding his eyes from the nearly unbearable glow, he noticed in awe   
that it was Nuku Nuku who was generating the fearsome aura.   
  
And then, the catgirl was gone.   
  
One moment, she'd been standing next to him, seething quietly and   
glaring at the mecha while her ki claws glowed menacingly, and the   
next... she was all over the robots.   
  
The aquamarine mecha didn't even know what hit it. Its sensors managed   
to register an extremely agitated mewl before its body was literally   
torn apart. The robot's smoking remains fell to the ground in eight   
pieces, shrouding the surrounding area in dust and smoke.   
  
A humanoid shape could soon be discerned in the cloud. A few moments   
later, the catgirl stepped out into plain sight with a bowed head, her   
hands and ki claws held at her sides.   
  
The remaining five mecha involuntarily took a step back when Nuku Nuku's   
head snapped back up, her eyes glowing with an unnatural emerald light.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
"Ranma! Your fight is now with me!" Biiko shouted, ripping off her   
school uniform and revealing the Akagiyama hardsuit underneath.   
  
Throwing a short fit of laughter, Biiko pointed at Nuku Nuku, announcing   
grandly, "Destroy that She-Demon, my beautiful creations!"   
  
Looking at each other, the mecha gave an equivalent of a shrug and   
charged the catgirl together, dogpiling her.   
  
"Nuku!" Ranma exclaimed urgently, seeing his companion literally buried   
under the bulky robots.   
  
The pigtailed boy made a move towards Nuku Nuku, who was getting pounded   
relentlessly by the mecha, which took full advantage of her momentary   
disorientation. However, Biiko blocked his path.   
  
"My darling, here is where you will realize your folly and bend to God's   
will! Our love was written in the stars themsel--"   
  
The rest of Biiko's rant was cut short, as Ranma's punch caught her   
straight in the jaw, sending the girl dozens of meters away until she   
became imbedded in a wall. Shaking her head to get her bearings straight   
amidst the rubble her impact had created, Biiko smiled. "I see... you   
still do not think of me as worthy to be your consort."   
  
Torn between his desire to go help Nuku Nuku and fearing to leave his   
back wide open for an attack, Ranma waited for Biiko to make her move,   
his knuckles whitening from the exertion he was putting into his   
muscles. 'C'mon, you psycho... attack me already!'   
  
Wiping a slight trickle of blood that ran from her mouth, she charged at   
Ranma with the speed of a freight train, shouting, "I won't hold back   
anymore!"   
  
Not even blinking, Ranma met her charge head on, barreling into the   
long-haired girl and grabbing her right hand in a pain hold. He was   
about to dislocate it and get Biiko out of the fight when an explosion   
off to the side sent both of them tumbling to the ground. Turning their   
heads towards its source, Ranma and Biiko could only gape at the massive   
mushroom-like dust cloud.   
  
Soon, a speck of light could be seen approaching them from the cloud.   
The speck turned into a glowing line, its features becoming more and   
more distinct until it could be identified as one of the beam sabers the   
mecha used.   
  
Ranma hoped beyond hope that the catgirl had ripped a saber out of one   
of those robots during the last moments of the battle and was using it   
as a weapon. Even though he knew that unlike him, Nuku Nuku didn't like   
to use weapons, preferring to fight only with her body, he continued to   
hope...   
  
Only to have those hopes dashed utterly and completely when an orange   
mecha stepped out of the cloud flanked by two others who had powered   
down their saber weapons.   
  
The scene finally cleared, revealing a gigantic crater and charred   
pieces of what seemed to be two melted robots.   
  
Nuku Nuku was nowhere to be found.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Ranma's heart sank and shattered into a million tiny pieces at the   
realization that he had lost Nuku Nuku. He bowed his head, staring at   
the ground next to his feet in shock. Losing... Nuku Nuku... The mere   
idea was not perceivable! The catgirl had been a part of his life for as   
long as he could remember, always helping his and generally staying by   
his side...   
  
And recently...   
  
Nuku Nuku was a very special friend. She knew more about him than anyone   
else possibly could. Whenever life would get difficult, or his father   
would try one more of his idiotic training technique... Nuku Nuku would   
always help him.   
  
'What horrors would've happened to me if it weren't for her?'   
  
Most of the people his father and he had met in their travels usually   
treated Nuku Nuku as an 'it'... but Ranma knew better. One only had to   
look in her eyes for a few moments, and see the deep intelligence   
projected back.   
  
He had always known in his heart that Nuku Nuku could understand him   
when he would talk with her... sometimes for hours at a time...   
  
If nothing else, her fast grasp of Japanese proved that theory. To learn   
how to speak within a few hours from being changed into a girl for the   
first time in her life was no mean feat.   
  
And now, all of that had been lost.   
  
The only cat he'd never feared in his life, despite the Neko-ken   
training his father had put him through...   
  
No, it was...   
  
It was more...   
  
His friend...   
  
His best friend in the whole wide world...   
  
The friend he made a pact with all those years ago...   
  
Gone, and never coming back...   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
Biiko laughed triumphantly, satisfied in the successful execution of her   
master plan. The demon was gone, and her enchantment over Ranma-sama   
would surely be gone in no time, allowing him to see through the veil   
covering his eyes and realize that only she, Biiko Daijkoku, was his one   
true love!   
  
Several moments later she realized that something was wrong. After all,   
Ranma darling wasn't hugging her, declaring his undying love as he   
should have.   
  
After glancing at Ranma, Biiko recoiled in shock. She'd miscalculated   
the demon's hold over him! What foul spell could have done that to him?!   
  
Ranma had to be knocked out, she realized. It was only for his own good,   
after all.   
  
Her mind set, Biiko ordered the mecha to attack Ranma.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
His hair unbound from the pigtail that had pretty much become his   
trademark throughout the years, Ranma stared at the whisker that was   
used to hold it in place. It used to belong to Nuku Nuku, but she'd lost   
it during one of their fights with his father, when he'd gone too far   
yet again and had to be stopped.   
  
And now, it was the only thing he had left to remind him of her...   
  
Ranma's hair changed color and became a deep blue, an unseen wind   
picking up all around him. His eyes slowly darkened, until they were the   
color of blood, and even the robots missed a step when Ranma raised his   
head and stared at them listlessly.   
  
And then, it was as if the dam had broke.   
  
Energy coalesced all around Ranma's body, bathing him in an eerie white   
light. It coursed through his hands, merging with his fingers. Sharp,   
translucent claws came to life, extending from his fingers. Growling   
loudly, Ranma leapt at the mecha in the center, slashing at him wildly   
with his newfound claws. The remaining two robots tried to bum rush him,   
but Ranma paid them no heed, idly batting both of the mecha away with   
translucent walls of pure energy. The one on the left was flung high   
into the sky towards the Kuno mansion, while the other robot impacted   
heavily against Biiko, who stood to the side in shock, completely awed   
by Ranma's display of power and unable to dodge the incoming robot in   
time. They proceeded to traverse at high speeds towards one of the   
nearby buildings, the mecha detonating on impact with the stone wall.   
  
Before she slipped into unconsciousness, Biiko's last thoughts were,   
'Such prowess... I must have him!'   
  
Ranma didn't stop his attack for a few minutes, and when he regained his   
senses, there was a deep trench in the ground from his claws. Of the   
robot, there was no sign.   
  
His adrenaline rush fading away, Ranma collapsed onto his knees, letting   
his face drop into his hands.   
  
"Nuku..." he sobbed, as tears flowed freely down his cheeks, falling   
onto the scarred ground.   
  
Ranma continued to cry openly, completely disregarding the beeping that   
was coming from behind him. He was never even aware of the danger, even   
when the green robot finally completed rebooting his system and pushed   
the yellow and red ones off itself, getting on its feet. Ranma didn't   
move a muscle as the robot grabbed his in its massive palm and started   
squeezing slowly.   
  
His vision started to fail, spots appearing all over it. Ranma's trained   
body automatically tried to defend itself, but all the exertion it had   
been put through had used all of the resources.   
  
'So... this is how it ends...' Ranma thought sadly, comforted by the   
fact that he wouldn't be alone in the afterlife.   
  
Just before he passed out, Ranma heard a distant explosion, which was   
immediately followed by a sudden gust of wind on his face.   
  
Vaguely aware of someone calling his name urgently, Ranma tried to focus   
his eyes on the blurred figure that was holding him.   
  
'Wasn't a robot crushing me to death?' Ranma wondered drunkenly, getting   
sidetracked by the bright colors assaulting his mind seemingly from all   
directions.   
  
A lock of red hair caught his attention, and Ranma mumbled a name before   
finally succumbing to the bright light.   
  
--------------------------------------------------   
  
End of Chapter 3. 


End file.
